You, later this week.

You, later this week.

Though the infamous “Midterm Day” came and went as quickly as that brief wave of good weather last week, many students in Morningside Heights still have tests to take, essays to write, and group projects (oh, the horror!) to complete. We all know that it’s pointless to sit down and study for an extended period of time without a heap of snacks proportional in size and junkiness to the task at hand. With that in mind, Bwogger and foodie Emma Seely-Katz has compiled a list of Midterm Munchies tailored to fuel all your scholastic endeavors, starting with entry-level palate whetters and graduating to the heavy-duty snacking situations.

Frozen Grapes
Run, do not walk, to Morton Williams and buy a sack of their delicious, genetically-modified grapes. Pop those suckers in the freezer a few hours before your study session, and by the time you crack open your textbook (hopefully NOT for the first time this year), you’ll have a whole sack of icy, sweet-n-sour treats that’ll last you until your first bathroom (or, more accurately, Instagram) break of the night. Thanks, Monsanto!
Pair with: Intro to Bio note-taking

Boba Tea
Drag your sad sack self over to Tea Magic and order an iced Taro Milk Tea — with boba (/bubbles/pearls), of course. For every little nugget of tapioca-y goodness you suck down, memorize a single definition. We’re (pretty) sure those weird rumors about the carcinogens in boba were just malicious, Starbucks-backed slander!
Pair with: Your choice of language flashcards

Bagel with Fake Cream Cheese
If Hewitt has anything going for it (besides the abundance of cute girls), it’s the delicious Brooklyn-made bagels that are somehow far superior to the ones offered at Ferris or John Jay. Grab a few, toast ‘em, and slather on a healthy serving of that weird Tofutti fake cream cheese because you’re on a weeklong vegan kick (that will end by the time you get to the next snack) after watching that horrifying documentary about the meatpacking industry in your American History class. You’re saving the world, one shmear at a time.
Pair with: Re-watching that documentary so you can smugly stare over your laptop at the HEATHENS eating their chock-full-of-dairy-and-meat slices of pizza. Make sure to angle the screen towards them right as it shows the baby cow’s throat being slit. You’re basically Mother Teresa.

Beef Udon and Rice
IS THE GUY AT THE M2M COUNTER LAUGHING AT YOU? HOW COULD HE HAVE KNOWN ABOUT YOUR FUTILE ATTEMPT AT VEGANISM? Oh, right, you loudly bragged about it to the cute guy from your calc class when you picked up your avocado sushi yesterday.
Pair with: Agonizing about your dumb crush on that cute guy from your calc class in between halfhearted attempts at problem sets

Chipotle “Quesarito”
A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla. Yes, it’s real. That’s all we have to say about it. Go get one.
Pair with: A long, hard look at your life choices and priorities

A Cronut
Huh? Where’d you get a cronut? They don’t sell those on campus…. oh. You’re downtown, having realized that college is not for you, that you peaked at age 15, and that your true calling is La Vie Boheme. You realize that true Bohemians probably don’t eat cronuts, but that’s THEIR problem.
Pair with: A frantic call to your parents about the status of the trust fund you assume they set up for you at birth

Brooklyn Roasting Company Drip Coffee
As good as this cup of joe may be, it turns out you can’t get by in the Village for very long as a kid still on their parent’s health insurance and with $5.87 to their name. Back to Ferris and the grindstone it is.
Pair with: Prayer to your deity of choice
Alternately: A gaze into the void

Happy munching, slurping, and whatever other gross noises may come out of your mouth while you’re simultaneously trying to cram your cheeks full of vending machine Honey Buns and recite the 4th Amendment by memory. Keep your mouths shut, kids!