This looks like a lovely game of basketball!

This looks like a lovely game of basketball!

Our Men’s Basketball team began its 115th season in program history this Friday, hosting Kean (NCAA Divison III) to open the 2015-16 campaign. We sent Bwogger Lili Brown to check it out, and she returned with some unexpected news. 

The 2015-2016 season for Men’s Basketball began today in an unprecedented sense of style. We saw the basketball team’s true colors during the season opener as the players stormed the court earlier today, ready for some good ol’ hoops. They came decked out in copious amounts of spirit gear; if the roof of Levien popped off, why, the basketball team would reflect the blue in the sky.

But good ol’ hoops isn’t what we got. No, the team had a surprise in store and cheers to y’all – it worked. As the team entered the court to your humdrum hype music, a long table was hurriedly carried in behind them. The table was placed down, with its center directly atop the decorative “C” in mid-court. Lil Bow Wow fans trembled with confusion; you can’t play bas-ket-ball with an obstacle on the court! The crowd fell silent in anticipation.

Each team member took their seat at the table, whose white tablecloth shone beneath the gym’s fluorescent gaze. It was set with the plastic silverware that just about looks real, but when you touch it you know. Soon, carts of food strolled in from the locker room. I got a whiff of toasted bagel and something that I identified as a spinach egg dish with truffle oil. Waiters dressed in butler attire with Columbia blue bowties poured orange juice into each player’s cup. One player stealthily added some protein powder to his cup.

It seemed as if this game wasn’t going to meet our expectations. We came here to see basketball, and it looked like we were instead going to be spectators of the basketball team’s Last Supper.

But then it all made sense. It’s 11 AM. It’s a Friday. What do New Yorkers do at 11 AM on Fridays? Brunch. Why should the basketball team be an exception? The audience joined together in a moment of communal questioning, exchanging looks silently though not moving from their scattered seats. What are we doing here? What brunch plans did we sacrifice to be here? The basketball team makes a point – it’s time for brunch. I collect my things, stuff my foam finger into my tote bag, and walk down towards an exit, getting anxious about the decision between Community or Friedman’s.

Mmmmm courtesy of Shutterstock