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Call For Closing Remarks

One last call for alcohol (and your teacher's parting words)...

One last call for alcohol (and your teacher’s parting words)…

You’ve been hearing drunk seniors slurring the words “Iiiit’s Cloooosing Tiiimmmee…” as they get kicked out of 1020 at 4 am since September, but this is realer than any bad Semisonic song: the semester is coming to a close! We want you to help us compile a list of your professors’ best end-of-semester remarks/shenanigans for your procastina–er, perusal.

Shoot an email to with your professor’s name and the title of the course as well as a description of the weird shit their end-of-the-year agenda has entailed. Have they taken weekly trips to “visit their sick aunt” and come back to class smelling of sunscreen and margaritas? Have they started bringing their infant daughter into lecture and breastfeeding during the group discussions? Don’t worry, we won’t let your profs know who sent in the tips so they can’t retroactively fail you (unless your professor is a Comp Sci hacking genius,  maybe stay away from them).

Happy last week of classes! We KNOW you’re not studying, so you have no excuse not to keep up with and contribute to everyone’s favorite rabble-rousing campus publication. Just remember: “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end,” whatever the heck that means.

We’re Closed via Shutterstock

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1 Comment

  • i says:

    @i want to close mark lerners remarks ifuknowwhatimean

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