An Exemplary Phone ScreenIn this technological world of constant phone alerts, Bwog has decided to provide the student body with a few essential Columbia apps for download on your phone! Here are names and descriptions of these nifty and useful must-haves:

PrezBo@CU – an app that provides live feed of PrezBo sightings

Jobs@CU – an app that deletes your more questionable Spec op-eds so you can get a job some day

SeekingArrangements@CU – an app to help you find the perfect (alumni) sugar daddy to fund your expen$ive Ivy League education

Bwog@CU – an app for Spectrum

Goldberg@CU – an app that helps you come up with job position titles to put on your LinkedIn

Live@Lerner@CU – an app that gives live updates letting you know if Live@Lerner has been cancelled, is still happening, is running late, is finishing early, etc

Frat@CU – an app that reports live locations of all frat boys so you can strategically avoid

Not@CU – an app with predictable weather and affordable groceries

Shower@CU – an app tracking where best water pressure currently exists on campus–advises users of hot water shootings with live push notifications

Times@CU – a service that backdates your essay submissions

Broke@CU – actually just a front camera shortcut

Creative@CU – an app that monitors your classmates’ Google drive folders and sends you the best of their paper ideas

Skip@CU – an app that monitors what’s going on in your classes when you skip

Trashd@CU – just calls CAVA

Frank@CU – not sure what this one does–we just really miss Frank Ocean (@Frank, in the vein of “Come to Brazil!”)

@CU@CU – an app managing all of the different damn @CU things there are

Illustration by Maham Karatela