'Bout to call your ass a Uber, I got somewhere to be.

‘Bout to call your ass a Uber, I got somewhere to be.

An Uber passenger says her driver used fake vomit (or, at least, a photo of someone else’s real vomit) to charge her cleaning fees of $200, for allegedly throwing up in his car during a February ride. (Daily Mail)

Caitlin Jenner has announced that she would be the “trans ambassador to the president of the United States” if that President turned out to be Ted Cruz. (E! News)

Kim Jong-un has ordered nuclear weapons “to be ready for use at any time,” according to North Korean state news agency KCNA. (CNN)

Morgan Freeman, with his soothing voice of wisdom, filmed a video reciting the lyrics of Justin Bieber’s “Love Yourself.” As it turns out, this is the better way. (Rolling Stone)

Benedict Cumberbatch has been turned into the “Cumberbunny,” a new invention for Easter bunnies by a Brighton-based chocolatier. This is not the way. (People)

Drake got enemies via Drew/Wikimedia Commons/CC-BY-2.0