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Stop Fucking With The Diana Pizza Line

Who would actually share a Diana pizza though?

Who would actually share a Diana pizza though?

There are few greater joys in life than sitting down at a red Diana Cafe table with a white pizza covered in basil and cheese. Hell, we’ll even settle for a BBQ chicken or tomato basil pizza every now and then when things get desperate. But that’s it—the pepperoni pizzas are trash. Alas, we digress. Any true pizza lover understands the struggle of waiting in the Diana pizza line awaiting their beloved thin crust delicacy. It takes time, patience, and a full email inbox to go through to pass the time. Regardless of how much time you end up waiting in line, you will never regret being late for your 1:10 class because you got yourself a Diana pizza.

While the Diana pizza experience is usually pure bliss, we have encountered some true injustices to the Diana Cafe. This past semester, our community has experienced a rise in people cutting the pizza line. We’re talking individuals just walking up to the pizza warming station and GRABBING a white pizza while 20-30 people have been patiently waiting in line. However, the terrorism doesn’t stop there. People have now decided it’s ok to grab not one but TWO pizzas (one for themselves? a friend? the TA they’re trying to hook-up with?) We don’t care where this extra pizza is going—this is just blatant disrespect to the one person, one pizza rule of Diana. Do you think you get to vote for Bernie Sanders twice during the primaries? No. Just once. Pizza is like politics—you only have one shot. So, please–stop taking two pizzas!

We, at Bwog, are committed to upholding the unwritten rules of the Diana pizza line. We are one cutter away from posting pictures of the perpetrators for the sake of public shaming. Hopefully this will make you think twice next time you slide into the tomato basil pile instead of waiting in line. We are watching.

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