Feeling the Bern

Feeling the Bern

This edition of Night In The Life is brought to you by a first-year willing to risk ID confiscation for a weird Wednesday night at Bernheim & Schwartz.

11:45 pm

The last time I went to Senior Night at Bernie’s, I got my ID taken away. I’m still scarred from the experience, but I have a feeling that tonight is the night. I’m ready to try again.

12:07 am

Traversed the hundred-or-so feet between Carman and Bernheim to find a line stretching all the way to International. There are about 50 upperclassmen and two very intimidating bouncers standing between me and discounted pitchers of beer right now. I’m beginning to have second thoughts.

12:08 am

Oh good! Familiar Mel’s frequenter spotted at the front of the line. And I remember his name! Time to finagle my way to the front.

12:13 am 

Success! I’m in. ID not confiscated by notoriously ironclad bouncer!

12:22 am

I don’t recognize any of these people. I am so lost. What am I doing. Oh, wait – there’s my bartending teacher! OMG! He’s with my COÖP dad! No way! They’re talking to my RA!! Friends!

12:49 am

So far, a total of seven upperclassmen have asked me why I am here. Their questions leave me tumbling into an existential crisis, until I remember Deantini’s convocation speech. I take a deep breath as his wise words resound in my head: You are here.

Free Bottle Opener via bb337/CC BY-SA 4.0