CAVA’d at Tom’s because the mozz sticks were too dank

After the first week of classes, Columbia students did not let us down by having a weekend full of bad decisions, regrets, and first years drinking bad alcohol. We bring you the tales of this weekend’s degeneracy for your reflection as you weep in Butler on a Monday night. If you have any notes from the field over the weekend, send them to us at tips@bwog.com to potentially make next week’s field notes.

Tales of libations and vices

• Got yelled at by my mom who just got my freshman year CAVA bill
• Broke my three month sobriety and got stoned af on Friday night with high school pals after cooking dinner together.
• Pregamed a band party by going to see Kubo and the Two Strings. (It was really good!)
• Got a freshman to buy me booze because they had a fake.
• Drank pelinka (Russian liquor made from plums) at 6pm in front of a sober freshie
• Engaged in way too much degeneracy
• Some girl got CAVA’d from my friend’s birthday party after downing an entire cup of vodka

A potpourri of adventures

• Bought a ridiculously expensive Dyson Air Blade to use until the heat disappears. Hopefully it will cool off before the return policy expires.
• Had and lost Beyoncé tickets within 5 minutes
• Got on the wrong train trying to come back from Williamsburg, ended up in Bay Ridge.
• Babysat for a family that turned out to be Very Religious and low-key tried to convert me but it’s fine.
• Spent the majority of every night in my dorm room but didn’t feel like I wasted the evenings.
• Thought about going out on Saturday, but ended up wandering around MoHi with my best friend til she met up with potential bae. I purchased a $6 Lindt bar and consumed it as I walked home alone through the crowded lines of frosh/sophs spilling onto the streets outside Mel’s and The Heights.
• Tried to exchange some pants I bought at Uniqlo Hong Kong but they wouldn’t let me bc in Hong Kong the pants cost $299 dollars.
• Stole a swivel chair from TC.
• Nearly got with my RA from freshman year after a frat party.
• Made several people cry. (With fanfiction.)
• Went to a Brooklyn deep house warehouse party until the sun rose
• Almost entirely flipped my sleeping/awake schedule but somehow got more work done than I normally would have accomplished
• Butler was full from Saturday afternoon into Sunday
• “I just saw Tina Fey on the street. I’m crying.”
• Watched a whole season of Great British Bakeoff while pointing my fan directly on me at high speed
• Tried to study in Ref Room and a couple literally stopped what they were doing every 10 minutes to kiss each other. This is not the place for affection!

To wrap things up, we received a tip about one EC party’s impressive snapchat filter. Check it out below.