CAVA'd at Tom's because the mozz sticks were too dank

CAVA’d at Tom’s because the mozz sticks were too dank

After the first week of classes, Columbia students did not let us down by having a weekend full of bad decisions, regrets, and first years drinking bad alcohol. We bring you the tales of this weekend’s degeneracy for your reflection as you weep in Butler on a Monday night. If you have any notes from the field over the weekend, send them to us at tips@bwog.com to potentially make next week’s field notes.

Tales of libations and vices

  • Got yelled at by my mom who just got my freshman year CAVA bill
  • Broke my three month sobriety and got stoned af on Friday night with high school pals after cooking dinner together.
  • Pregamed a band party by going to see Kubo and the Two Strings. (It was really good!)
  • Got a freshman to buy me booze because they had a fake.
  • Drank pelinka (Russian liquor made from plums) at 6pm in front of a sober freshie
  • Engaged in way too much degeneracy
  • Some girl got CAVA’d from my friend’s birthday party after downing an entire cup of vodka

A potpourri of adventures

  • Bought a ridiculously expensive Dyson Air Blade to use until the heat disappears. Hopefully it will cool off before the return policy expires.
  • Had and lost Beyoncé tickets within 5 minutes
  • Got on the wrong train trying to come back from Williamsburg, ended up in Bay Ridge.
  • Babysat for a family that turned out to be Very Religious and low-key tried to convert me but it’s fine.
  • Spent the majority of every night in my dorm room but didn’t feel like I wasted the evenings.
  • Thought about going out on Saturday, but ended up wandering around MoHi with my best friend til she met up with potential bae. I purchased a $6 Lindt bar and consumed it as I walked home alone through the crowded lines of frosh/sophs spilling onto the streets outside Mel’s and The Heights.
  • Tried to exchange some pants I bought at Uniqlo Hong Kong but they wouldn’t let me bc in Hong Kong the pants cost $299 dollars.
  • Stole a swivel chair from TC.
  • Nearly got with my RA from freshman year after a frat party.
  • Made several people cry. (With fanfiction.)
  • Went to a Brooklyn deep house warehouse party until the sun rose
  • Almost entirely flipped my sleeping/awake schedule but somehow got more work done than I normally would have accomplished
  • Butler was full from Saturday afternoon into Sunday
  • “I just saw Tina Fey on the street. I’m crying.”
  • Watched a whole season of Great British Bakeoff while pointing my fan directly on me at high speed
  • Tried to study in Ref Room and a couple literally stopped what they were doing every 10 minutes to kiss each other. This is not the place for affection!

To wrap things up, we received a tip about one EC party’s impressive snapchat filter. Check it out below.