Never drunk, only more awesome.

Never drunk, only more awesome.

October has officially brought in the frigid air as everyone shifts indoors to their favorite bars and joints to avoid being cooped up in a library stocked with people you know aren’t studying either. So why not toast to the fact that another semester will go by and you will still have no idea what you’re doing…

When In Doubt, Drink It Out…

  • Dropped out of the Lerner Pub line twice.
  • Went to a bougie bar on the Lower East Side and had a slice of Key Lime pie, no drinks.
  • Cried actual tears of joy last night because my roommate hooked up with a hot guy and because I had a great girls’ night out–I love female friendship!!!
  • Tried to use my birthday Starbucks on a chocolate chip cookie. The lady was like, “No way, are you crazy?” and made me buy something more expensive. I got the cookie for free and it turns out it was her birthday too.
  • Attended an event on the 15th floor of IAB where I knew no one but brought back copious amounts of stolen food, including a fried twinkie.
  • Went to a friend’s apartment who was home from college and dragged her to a pregame when it turned into a very sloppy high school reunion. After realizing the campus was dryer than a YMCA and deader than Stephen Hawkings below the belt, an uber was ordered downtown where an NYU apt party was crashed.
  • Pregamed for Hillel due to a misunderstanding on when we would go out. Went to Shabbat Dinner at Hewitt to only find there were like 12 ppl so my friends and I took a table with its own challah and proceeded to feast and dip right before Jewish Trivia.
  • Thought I was just going to dinner and accidentally ended up at a party.
  • Took a nap in the evening on Saturday night because netflix was down and I couldn’t find other ways to procrastinate.
  • Mom visited, brought pie and a 20-lb bag of apples from an orchard, and took me out to brunch.
  • Finally saw Hamilton (with tickets purchased last November.) It was worth the wait.
  • Bought an Ann Taylor blazer from Goodwill for $15. Felt super professional even though I have literally nothing to wear the blazer to.

Pregaming Perpetually Until The Election Is Over

  • Went to a bar full of Soviet memorabilia on the Lower East Side and won two shots of whiskey in a Jeopardy trivia contest. I gave one shot to a stranger. The other, I drank – my first shot of whiskey ever. The verdict: it tasted like slightly muddy water mixed with acid.
  • I went in the secret lounge above the Soviet bar. Instead of Communist propaganda on the walls, it had black-and-white photographs of a woman dressed in nothing but chainmail. In the lounge, a man explained that private industry is better at scientific advancements and that the US is in a nuclear arms race with Russia.
  • Went to a party themed “Middle School Dance.” I felt just as awkward as I did back in the day.
  • Partly pressured by parents and partly needing a break from the MoHi bubble and not even partly affected by the Princeton loss, I fled to the Hamptons where my allergies immediately took a turn for the worse. Watched SNL with chinese take out and a bottle of Pinot Grigio while my parents sent of Jewish New Years cards downstairs.
  • Mailed in my absentee ballot!!
  • Spent all of saturday dog-sitting in a bougie two-story apartment, eating sweet potato fries and feeling lucky to be alive.
  • Got a text from my dad wishing me a happy Rosh Hashanah, even though our family isn’t Jewish.

Image via Tomversation