Columbia needs to unclench and let go of its control freak tendencies

Columbia needs to unclench and let go of its control freak tendencies

Dear Alma,

And just when you thought Columbia could not get any whiter, Winter Storm Niko loomed its vanilla head. Seriously, Columbia students probably have not been shooken up by this much white nonsense since the Civil War.

Tomorrow is but a small sacrifice for our safety and well being. While other New York institutions of higher learning like CUNY, St. John’s, and Fordham put a halt to classes, Columbia remains wide open. NYU even shut down a day of drum circling, interpretive dance, and Instagram tutorials for the severe weather. Bill De Blasio, infamous Snow Day Denier, shut down New York public schools as well. Even Teacher’s College and JTS closed their doors. Alma, I guess the question is: Why us? Isn’t it bad enough that our main dining hall is a literal ‘Shit Show’? Undergraduates could use a break and perhaps enjoy the frivolities of what it is to be a college student.

At approximately 8:18 P.M., Columbia undergraduates received a rather aggressive email wiping away any hope of respite. Lines like “Campus snow removal crews are mobilized and prepared to begin snow removal as soon as the snowfall begins during the overnight” may as well have been written by our current executive branch. I mean, am I to believe that a fleet of polished snow plows are poised to melt every last flake that dares land on Columbia’s finely groomed campus at 2 A.M. If so, one would hope the endowment was put to better use. Regardless, these militaristic snow plowers stand in direct opposition to what is clearly fated.

Que sera sera, Alma, Que sera sera.


Leo Bevilacqua

Photo  courtesy of this guy