Carman 409B. This is a dingle, but it has nothing to do with this article. It’s just a random dingle.

Stressed about your housing for next year? Bwog has a solution for the most screwed among you.

With most juniors and seniors having picked their housing for next year by now, as we liveblogged the whole process, we were able to witness a diverse array of emotions. Some people just wanted us to know that they’re very happy, a group of seniors were excited to go back to McBain for some godforsaken reason, and we saw a lot of happy groups who are going to live in EC, Hogan, etc. for next year. However, if the group before you took the last Watt studio double or the last EC townhouse, and you had go to your last choice dorm that has rats in it, what do you do?

Well, as usual, Bwog has the answer for you. Here is a step-by-step process on what to do if you were royally screwed over by housing. (This might especially be useful for sophomores who are about to be shafted in McBain.)

  1. Find a person who is living in a dingle. (For those of you unacquainted with the word, “dingle” is a combination of “double” and “single” and refers to a room meant to be a double with only one inhabitant.) Hopefully this dingle is in a nice dorm, or is a large single in a nice dorm. That is to say, find a person who lives in a dingle that you’d want to live in.
  2. Seduce this person. We’ll leave this up to you, but you can always email for advice on how to go about this, or comment with questions.
  3. Hook up with this person. It’s important that this step happens in their room.
  4. Maintain contact. Hook up at least one or two more times. Again, it’s important that this happens in their room.
  5. Leave some of your personal possessions in this person’s room. It can be a bra, a jacket, boxers, a belt, whatever.
  6. Come back under the pretense of retrieving your possession. Don’t retrieve your possession. Instead, maybe hook up with the person again (this is kinda optional) and leave something else (this is crucial). Maybe a bag, a book, a water bottle. A pair of socks. A shoe. Whatever. Something that you don’t need right away but is important enough to you that it makes sense for you to come back for it.
  7. Repeat, and leave bigger and more important things every time. Take back one or two things once in a while, but make sure that the net number of your possessions in that person’s room is increasing.
  8. When you’re at the point where you could probably live off of your stuff in this person’s room, bring some toiletries and stay over more and more nights a week.
  9. When you’re at the point where you’re staying over about 4~5 nights a week (it can be weekend or weekday nights), bring over the rest of your toiletries. If the person objects, feed them home-baked cookies or something.
  10. At this point, you will probably have had moments when you need a miscellaneous thing or two here and there from your room while you were staying in that person’s room, and brought more things to the dingle. Ideally, most of your possessions will be in the dingle at this point.
  11. You’re successfully moved in. Congrats!