In case you’ve been living under a rock or deactivated your Facebook after your relatives started commenting on all of your Photo Booth selfies from middle school, Columbia Crushes is the recent craze on campus, potentially replacing Columbia Buy Sell Memes as prime procrastination material. Earlier in the month, Bwogger Jenny Zhu and I looked into the inner workings of the popular page, currently being scrolled through by the people sitting around me in Butler, seeing what posts their friends tagged them in.
Columbia Crushes posted a request the other day that a guy, preferably tall or of medium height, comes to the math building to meet up. The anonymous submitter claimed that they would be there at 6:30pm in a red sweater.
Three members of the Bwog social media team made our way to the Mathematics building as 6:30pm approached. Head of Social Media had the Instagram story ready, and spotted a girl rush by with a red jacket, but to our dismay, she kept walking by. It was getting dark outside. One Bwogger remarked that the Mathematics building is a weird and random place to meet up. However, there is a large tree shadowing the building, giving potential for a modern romance scene.
Revisiting the post, I noticed it said “the Mathematics building case”. What did “case” mean in the post? Was it a mere typo, or was it a hint? We Bwoggers entered the building, and there was no bookcase, or Red Sweater Person to be seen. Only the entranceway and steps to mathematical theorems and sorority chapter meetings. Two out of the three of us investigating are of medium height or taller, and there was even one guy with us. This person does not know what they are missing.
We waited a few more minutes to see if any of the men tagged in the comments showed up. The mysterious Red Sweater Person would not have received notifications from the amount of people seemingly wanting their friends to attend the meet-up, and the friends tagged either forgot about the post as it got lost below other submissions, realized they do not have time for a romance this cuffing season, spent too much time in Butler that they forgot how to leave, or decided that someone claiming to wear a sweater in 70 degree weather was probably going to flake. If you predicted the latter, you are correct. Red Sweater Person flaked, and so did all the potential candidates. A man with a scooter walked past us into the building, probably rolling through to do math. But maybe, just maybe, he was on a search to find his Red Sweater Love.
So here is the update. Sad but true. Has Columbia Crushes done you any good? Are you surprised that no one showed up? If someone showed up would this have brought a new potential to Columbia Crushes? Should we have followed the guy with the scooter? Good luck with cuffing season everyone; keep crushing. Try not to flake next time.