The crime scene in question. This is what I saw when I opened my SSOL wishlist.

We’re gonna keep this short. I’ve had a lot of scary experiences this week: a Gulati pop quiz, spilling orange juice in my bag, tripping on College Walk. But on Thursday, I encountered perhaps the scariest thing of all. Class registration.

As a freshman, my fall registration experience was less than stellar – but my spring registration experience was even worse. Coming in, I had a 12:30 pm registration time. With no context, I had known that 12:30 pm wasn’t the earliest time, but I didn’t think it was the worst ordeal either. I was wrong.

On registration day, I woke up at 8 am, carefully checking and double-checking and triple-checking that my SSOL wishlist was just right. I had three alternative LitHum sections, three UWriting sections, and a ton of other backup classes lined up. I’m so excited to register for these amazing courses! I, at that time only a naive and smol girl, thought to myself.

12:15 pm rolled around, and I leisurely opened my laptop at the tables outside Ferris. I checked SSOL, and then I saw it. Every single one of my classes was full.

Panic washed over me, and I internally screamed, as I instantly opened CULPA, Vergil, RateMyProfessor, EZACU, and the Class of 2021 Facebook to cross-check professors, in the process stress-eating the three Ferris red velvet cookies I had originally saved for later. The task was hopeless; my efforts were for naught. Every single UWriting class that had a professor assigned was already full. Only three or four LitHum sections were available to be switched into.

I wish I could provide you with a happy ending, and tell you that it all ended OK and that I’m OK, but I’m not. My only comfort during these dark, dark times is that I can shed light on my experience, and perhaps prepare you, my reader, for the absolute tomfoolery that is class registration. Good luck, and godspeed.