One of the things on this campus that does not spark joy is the oppressive regime that is Columbia Dining hindering us from having a whole ass pie.

Imagine, you are eating dinner in Ferris with five of your friends and what feels like the rest of entire student body. After eating the usual flavorless generic food, one of my friends texted saying there is key lime pie. We all knew what we had to do: brace the crowds once again and get that key lime pie. But why settle for one slice when you can have a whole pie? Once our last friend arrived, there were seven of us which is definitely an appropriate amount of people to consume a whole pie.

With our mission planned, we headed back into the unreasonably loud food area. I, not believing this was actually happening, took out my camera to record this momentous occasion. Were we to march out of Ferris, spoons in hand, victorious with our whole pie? Or were we to be cruelly rejected?

We approach that infamous glass counter. One brave soul utters above the noise of the crowd, “Can we, like, have a whole pie please?” The person behind the counter looks shocked. It’s not looking great. She leans over to her fellow guardian of the sweets.

After what felt like years, she responds “No, but we can give you all individual pieces.”

“But there are seven of us. We can’t have a whole pie?”

She laughs in disbelief. “No, sorry.”

We are each handed a slice of pie. Delicious, but nonetheless not as satisfying as a whole pie. One day, I will know the sweet pleasure of consuming a whole pie made by Columbia Dining like savages with my friends. But this day has yet to come.

Deliciousness via Flickr