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Field Notes: Goodbye Edition

The last field notes of the school year… NOO!!! Even the puppy is crying!

Bwog Gets Out Of Touch With Reality

  • Wore long white socks with red loafers
  • Leveled up in a gag in Toontown
  • Thought about that one hallway from Mario 64 and got kind of anxious just thinking about it
  • Took shots with their professor
  • Someone threw a water bottle at them out of a Wien window and got smited (smote?) by God
  • Went to Chicago instead of studying for finals
  • Went to SoHo for a haircut and decided to stay for like 8 hours despite having finals

Bwog Does Self-Damage (Ouch!)

  • Waxed their sideburns (-5 points off their health)
  • Found out that they have a life-threatening crab allergy (-20)
  • Slept until 3pm on both Saturday and Sunday (-5)
  • Will fail a final on Wednesday. Had only gone to 2 out of a total of 50 seminars this semester (-10)
  • Ran into 2 first years who kept asking if they knew any parties they could go to, but was too drunk to offer them actual advice (-2)
  • Accidentally cracked an egg with their laptop (-7)
  • Snoozed three alarms on Saturday morning (-2)
  • Went to 1020 for the first time in months (-15)
  • Didn’t do anything interesting (-5)
  • Bought and then drunkenly hid a bag of shrooms in my room. If you see shrooms in McBain please let us know (-50)
  • Failed a final (-10)
  • Got their iCloud hacked by a Chinese manufacturing company (-10)

Bwog Tests The Limits Of Their Ability (This Isn’t Even My Final Form…)

  • Pulled an all-nighter working on the Orgo Night script… then gave a thesis presentation at 9:45am the next morning
  • Had sex in the Carman stairwell again
  • Walked home from EC by themselves while extremely drunk but did not puke or lose anything! Was very proud!
  • Ate a ton of soup from the sample cups at West Side at 2:30am
  • Slept for 16 hours straight
  • Created a visualization of prime numbers that looks like the cover of Unknown Pleasures by Joy Division
  • Stayed up late enough to go to Absolute Bagels when they opened!!
  • Stayed out late drinking before both my exams and still crushed
  • Ran home in the pouring rain while drunk

Just Good Fuckin’ Stuff. Wholesome, If You Will

  • Shared an intimate moment with Ollie (their kittycat) where they stared into each other’s eyes for 5 mins straight
  • Received a plant from the Barnard bio department
  • Bought Ollie some sedatives because he won’t shut up on public transport
  • Watched Isabel perform an AMAZING orgo night
  • Won the NYC broadway lottery 3 times
  • Cooked Korean food and got drunk with their Korean class and had the best time ever
  • Got tipsy off mimosas at brunch with my family in New Jersey
  • Ate a ton of delicious food (thanks Mom)
  • Found a sublet so now they won’t be homeless
  • Peed
  • Wrote the 69th Orgo Night! Performed in the 69th Orgo Night! Fell into a 12 hour coma in order to recover from both
  • Almost missed a flight and then ended up getting a whole row for themselves

Bwog Gets Corny, In An Endearing Way

  • Felt really sad and retrospective that their freshman year is over… but simultaneously very grateful for a wonderful first two semesters with some incredible people
  • Their boyfriend tried to tell them that he loved them when he was drunk
  • Ate Koronet’s with two of their favorite people at 3 AM
  • Went on a cutesy picnic in Central Park and ate Koronet’s while laying in the grass
  • Got all in my feelings because they’re not gonna see their pals for so long
  • Singlehandedly made their club’s final party of the year hornier by making out with 4 different seniors. (Will miss them all very much!)
  • Picnicked in Central Park!! Finally

Pathetic via Pxhere.

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