The author is moving out of McBain in ten days.
The McBain bathrooms have been there for me through a lot. They’re like spacious single-stall hospitals for the soul. They were there for me to gracefully projectile vomit after catching the stomach flu during finals last semester. They’ve been there for countless hour-long showers during which I played Ariana Grande at full volume. They’ve been there every time I shaved my legs before going to 1020. They’re reliable!
So imagine my surprise when I – a woman of delicate constitution – traipsed into the bathroom to relieve myself and found, upon washing my hands and glancing at the trash can, the shorn pubic hairs of a fellow resident. A bounty of pubes. Like a hidden lair. Before you ask, yes I am SURE they were pubes. A woman knows.
Despite my initial disgust, I’ve been thinking a lot about those pubes in the days since. It must be hard to be separated from your owner! To be carelessly cut off by a cruel blade and left to huddle together for warmth in the trash can. I’ve wondered where they might be. Knit into a scarf, perhaps? Drifting like a tumbleweed across Broadway? Bulgarian-French philosopher Julia Kristeva defines “abjection” as that which is cast out, witness of which triggers a breakdown in the distinction between self and Other. The abject are the taboo parts of your own self, the elements you have to swear off in order to construct a unique self. In the pubes in the trash can, I saw the abjection – a part of the human body put into the trash! Reader, in the pubes I saw myself.
To the pubes, I hope you’re okay on your own. To their owner, I hope you got laid. Rising sophomores, good luck living in McBain. Also like. Just maybe if you’re going to trim your pubes do it in your own trash can. Don’t put that unto others.
furball via Flickr.
2 Comments
@ab i know i don’t check tips often enough to know when shit like this is going up but seriously what the FUCK IS THIS FEATURED IMAGE
@Anonymous Looks like there are a few grays in there. Don’t ever let anyone tell you Columbia isn’t stressful.