We’ve been at school for only a month (although it feels like at least seven years have passed since Labor Day), and the walls of my room remain tragically, depressingly bare. If you’re finding yourself in a similar unfortunate situation, lament no longer–Bwog staffers have compiled this list of decorative possibilities for adorning those blank canvases!

–Stolen John Jay silverware, adhered with haphazard scotch tape

–Fake ivy vines from Urban Outfitters or the craft store or wherever

–A pelt of skins from all the dead rats down on the bike trail by the Hudson?? Why are they there in the first place???

–A hand-drawn picture from a friend

–A collage of fast food receipts

–All of the flyers clubs put under your door

–Broken fairy lights

–A fire safety notice

–Emergency exit routes

–A picture of a window

–Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

–A subway map

–Shitty children’s crayon drawings, and when people ask who made them, look them directly in the eye and say, “Me, why?”

–Command hooks to hold your tote bag and/or scarf collection (decorative AND functional!)

–A framed picture of your dorm room that somehow already has the framed picture of your dorm room in it

–A picture of Beyonce (stolen)

–Your name, spelled out in blue masking tape

–Postcards from Book Culture

–An abstract art piece created with used tissues

–Deflated balloons

–Syllabi from courses you dropped on day one

–Fairly cheap see-through fabric, hemmed if needed and artfully hung behind your bed, from a fabric store in the Garment District

–Scrap fabric/cheap muslin that you’ve embroidered the shit out of, boom, tapestry

–Pictures of your father in college that look like they were taken from a distance in a scary way like you don’t know who took them or how you got them they just showed up one day

–Rocks

–New York City sidewalk scraps

–A collage of Playbills from all the fun shows you’ve seen!

–A screwdriver, attached with velcro (velcro’d?) to the wall

–Every “lost key” form you’ve filled out at Hartley Hospitality

–A John Jay bagel (attached with cream cheese)

–Condoms (unused), a great talking point for when your mom comes to visit!

–The huge Columbia #1 Dining Experience banner in John Jay

–Toilet seat covers

–NSOP wristbands

–Readings you’ll never read

–Blank sheets of printer paper

–Hair that you chopped off and were supposed to donate to Locks of Love