Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
All Articles

A Proposal For Barnard Dining

This Bwogger has a plan to help the people of the Barnard Kingdom.

Greetings, fellow Barnard students. I am pleased to be among you today and to participate in this sanctified privilege of all students: the privilege of writing a post on Bwog. As a hardworking farmer of Brooks Hall, I implore you to consider the plight of my dorm and of the students of humbler means. We must retain a policy that allots 3 swipes per meal to each Barnard student who eats at Hewitt. Not only would this policy allow every able student to eat in our dining halls, but also keep Hewitt as the dining institution of Barnard and stimulate our economy. Allow me to explain.

As many of you well know, Brooks is a region of farmlands whose inhabitants have remained strong supporters of Hewitt dining hall even through the war with Columbia and the ensuing civil war. However, after having our lands be ravaged by the Columbia students, we have come upon hard times and it is increasingly difficult to look after our farms while venturing to the dining halls to attend meals. On top of this, it takes half a day to travel to Hewitt to eat meals and half a day to travel back. Allotting 3 swipes per meal to all Barnard students who attend would account for the required travel time for those who have to come long distances and would reimburse those who have to miss making profits or tending to their farms.

After a long period of Barnard dining being in peril, we need to strengthen our dining halls as much as possible. What better way to ensure that than making sure that all Barnard students are able to eat at Hewitt? Our fellow students who have suffered and who have been pushed into hunger by years of warfare have just as much right to participate in the dining halls and eat as any other student. As well as that, are not the hungry vulnerable to the appeals of tyrants and would-be dictators? To lift up our fellow students and assure that our dining halls are safe, we should compensate students for eating in Hewitt.

For those who may consider this proposal as too risky for our economy, rest assured that providing compensation to those who attend Hewitt meals would stimulate Barnard’s economy instead of weaken it. By providing this form of aid to students, especially to the students who have become famished, had their farms razed, and are struggling to simply swipe in, we will make Barnard a city of proud and prosperous men again. Mark me, every single swipe would go back into the economy – whether to the baker’s bread, the shoemaker’s shoes, the carpenter’s furniture, the farmer’s crops, or the philosopher’s lessons for our children. Let us not prohibit Barnard from returning to its former prosperous glory; instead, let us lift up our fellow students by giving them compensation for eating in Hewitt.

Lastly, I anticipate that some members of the University would object to this proposal, saying that Hewitt should be kept to those on the Platinum meal plan while everyone else focuses on their work, be it farming, shoemaking, baking, or otherwise. We must not return to that state of exclusion. We must allow all students to eat directly, and we must ensure that all students can swipe into the Barnard dining halls.

In conclusion, I wish for a compensation of 3 swipes to be provided for all Barnard students who eat at Hewitt. This practice would allow all students to get their meals directly and eat. It would also strengthen the economy and keep Hewitt Food Hall firmly in its place as the dining hall of Barnard. I believe that this proposal is fair to all Barnard students and that we must make this provision to keep our campus strong. Use your right as students to vote in favor of compensating all students for their meals.

Image via Wikimedia

Write a comment

Your email address will not be published.

 

2 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Omg hi theozotides

  • H. Sloan says:

    @H. Sloan Those buildings on the Acropolis weren’t white!

  • Have Your Say

    What should Bwog's new tagline be?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Recent Comments

    More inaccurate sensationalism. Columbia will be using and taking bids from Union and non union construction workers. https://neighbors.columbia.edu/sites/default/files/content/MWL%20Reports/Pavarini%20McGovern%20Bid%20Opportunity%20Residential%20Building.pdf (read more)
    Columbia To Use Non-Union Labor For Manhattanville Dorm Construction, Carpenters Union (NYCDCC) Protests
    September 25, 2020
    Columbia should choose the best and the brightest students with the most potential without regard to race, creed, color, religion. (read more)
    What Should CU’s Admissions Criteria Really Be
    September 25, 2020
    The love of Columbia. (read more)
    What Keeps Low Fountains Erect?
    September 24, 2020
    “Lowe” (read more)
    What Keeps Low Fountains Erect?
    September 24, 2020

    Comment Policy

    The purpose of Bwog’s comment section is to facilitate honest and open discussion between members of the Columbia community. We encourage commenters to take advantage of—without abusing—the opportunity to engage in anonymous critical dialogue with other community members. A comment may be moderated if it contains:
    • A slur—defined as a pejorative derogatory phrase—based on ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or spiritual belief
    • Hate speech
    • Unauthorized use of a person’s identity
    • Personal information about an individual
    • Baseless personal attacks on specific individuals
    • Spam or self-promotion
    • Copyright infringement
    • Libel
    • COVID-19 misinformation