Staff Writer and Barnard Baddie James Perry took a look through the Barnard digital archives. Here’s who the Barnard Gals of yore would be if they were at Barnard today…

Barnard, the women’s college of Columbia we all know and love, has a rich history. From its beginning in 1889, the college has been home to thousands of women of all sorts. However, we can see some trends in the student body dating back to the founding class that survive today. If these fantastic alumnae were at our college today, here’s who they’d be:

The Athletes

These women could bench press you if they wanted. They always wear Columbia Athletics gear and you could probably find them working out for rowing or rugby. They probably do yoga, too, and actually eat healthily. I’m always impressed and a little intimidated by their willpower and athletic ability. So many (all) of the Barnard athletes I know are absolutely on par with Amazonian goddesses.

The Feminists

The quintessential Barnard gal! They probably have stickers for campaigns, Planned Parenthood, and other movements all over their laptops or water bottles. These women are the ones to register you to vote in the dining halls and the ones to go out and campaign for Elizabeth Warren. You can find them anywhere on campus, probably on their laptops or reading a book written by a woman and loving it.

The Musicians

These women are either in the band, great at the guitar or ukulele, amazing at singing, or all of the above. They sing in the shower and you don’t mind because it sounds angelic. They practice the ukulele in their rooms and you can hear them jamming out pretty much all the time. They could probably play the piano like it’s easy and make you feel embarrassed about your third grade recorder skills.

The Ones Who Are Better Than Columbia Boys

These women prefer their classes on the Barnard side. They’re quick to call out a WASP-y argument from the Columbia boy in their discussion sections. They dole out snaps to whoever says something hard-hitting or pro-feminism. They love Barnard so much because of the community of empowered women and couldn’t imagine going to CC or doing the Core- no offense.

The Ones Who ALWAYS Dress To Impress

These gals have shown up to 8:40 lectures wearing blazers, flawless hair, and makeup. They look stunning every day, and if they decide to go out for the night you know it’s over. They’ll make anyone who looks at them faint with how bomb their ‘fit is. They know how to put a look together, and probably have pieces in their wardrobe that nobody else could pull off.

Every Barnard Student In The Summer

There’s something that stands true for all Barnard students: when given the chance, they will make like lizards and bask in the warmth of the sun.

The Ones Who Somehow Have Gorgeous Dorms

If you walk by the rooms of these Barnard gals, you’ll be amazed. They coordinated with their roommates. They have a color scheme. They have art on the walls. They have string lights. But somehow it’s so much more gorgeous than anybody else’s room with the same things. These women just have a taste for interior design. Their rooms are set up in the best way possible. Did they do math to figure out where everything should go? It seems like it, but they didn’t. They just have amazing aesthetic sensibilities.

The Gal Pals

They’re lesbians, Harold.

The Power Squad

All of their pictures on Instagram are with at least one other person in the squad. They developed strong friendships with each other at the beginning of their first year and they have been inseparable since! They probably did a group costume for Halloween. They probably will tell you that they can’t hang out before heading home for winter break because the only night they aren’t studying, they’re doing Secret Santa or White Elephant with the gang.

The Ones Who Are Always In Hewitt, Diana, Liz’s Place, Or Pete’s

They’re first-years. They have so many swipes. They think that Hewitt isn’t that bad. They love the hot chocolate from Pete’s. They probably show up to their lectures with food because there’s no way in the world that they’re going to go without lunch or breakfast. Conversely, there’s…

The Upperclasswoman Who Got Swiped In By A First-Year

“Respect your elders.”

The Ones On Bwog

The funniest gals I know. Likely to make each other hurt from laughing so much.

The Messes

They’re constantly doing work last-minute but somehow, miraculously, finish it all on time. You can find them asleep in the green chairs in Milstein. They’re hard to find because they nap often instead of getting tomorrow’s readings done.

The Scholars

These women are in Milstein all the time. They participate in class. They at least seem like they’ve done all of their readings. They have poignant comments to make in discussion section. You’re a bit suspicious that they’re actually Athena in mortal disguise pretending to be a Barnard student for the fun of it. They’re actually really chill and down-to-earth outside of class, and it’s shocking.

All in all, all Barnard women are QUEENS and they always have been. You can’t convince me otherwise.

Amazing Barnard Alumnae via the Barnard Digital Collections