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Places Around Campus To Keep Your Pet Tiktaalik

Need recommendations on places for your Late Devonian tetrapod to eat, sleep, or flop around? Because we have some!

1. Carman basement

Your tiktaalik can snack on unsuspecting freshmen who wander into this space, and can also break the windows or slither up the stairs to crawl its way out onto 114th to eat some pedestrians. If it wants water, all it has to do is flop around in the kitchen or the laundry room until it breaks a pipe or something and causes a spill. Plus, basements seem like a natural place to keep such a creature.

2. Morningside Park

It has a shallow pond, perfect for any amphibious carnivore, which is often populated by geese and ducks (aka hors d’oeuvres). Your tiktaalik can soak in the water and enjoy life, and slither up to St. John’s on Sundays to terrify churchgoers and whatnot.

3. 1020

No one would even bat an eye after midnight. Other (worse) things are always happening, so your tiktaalik could just chill under the pool table or on top of the bar without everyone freaking out, or curl up in a booth and take a nap.

4. Low steps

Penis fountains to soak in, the steps to bask in, and sunbathers to eat. What more could any tiktaalik ask for?

Image via Bwogger and Wikimedia/Needpix

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