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Housing Reviews 2020: Your Dream Dorm

All we want is a mansion for a dorm, is that so hard to ask?

Location: Somewhere close to campus but in an area that’s so removed it’s as if you don’t actually live near campus.

  • Nearby Dorms: Just the dorms your friends live in.
  • Stores and Restaurants: Your door is actually a portal that you can use to teleport yourself to other stores and restaurants. Who needs the train?

Cost: Free!

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: You have your own bathroom.
  • AC/Heating: You have both!
  • Kitchen: You have your own kitchen which doubles as a majestic dining room.
  • Lounge: You have a living room for entertaining.
  • Laundry: There’s a conveyor belt that conveniently runs throughout the house to the washing machines and you can deposit your laundry onto it this way.
  • Computers/Printing: There’s a computer right by the entrance with unlimited ink and paper for printing.
  • Fire Escapes: All the ones you could ever want.
  • Gym: Optionally available in the basement.
  • Bike Storage: Also optionally available.
  • Intra-transportation: Since you’re living in a 10-floor building, you have five elevators at your disposal. There are no stairs.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: Both! If you don’t like one option, don’t use those rooms!
  • Bonus: You’re living in your dream dorm.

Room Variety:

  • Your entire space is a single.
  • No doubles, but you can turn half of the building into a second room if you want to.
  • No walk-through doubles because that’s no one’s first choice.

Numbers:

  • Guaranteed to get in in your mind, but not in real life.

Bwog Recommendation:

Your dream dorm is the best place to live. You don’t need to worry about neighbors and you can just kick back and relax. If you don’t like anything, just change it! No one will stop you. Did I mention this is your dream dorm?

Resident Opinions:

  • “This isn’t a real dorm.”
  • “I often travel to this dorm in my head when I’m waiting for the slow elevators in Hartley.”
  • “I approve of the five elevators because I get enough exercise walking up the stairs in Hamilton.”
  • “Too much space and unrealistic expectations.”

No pictures of the dorm because it’s in your… imagination. But the featured image is courtesy of Pixabay

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