A lonely Bwog staffer turns to a virtual Magic 8 Ball for advice and company. 

CU Student: I’m horny in quarantine. Got any advice, Magic 8 Ball?

Magic 8 Ball: Ask again later.

CU Student: Ok, fine. Well… my ex texted me “heey.” Do I respond?

Magic 8 Ball: Don’t count on it.

CU Student: Wow, if I can’t rely on myself, can I really trust anyone? If I bake banana bread, will I be able to see my friends sooner?

Magic 8 Ball: Without a doubt.

CU Student: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhh!!

Magic 8 Ball: Yes, definitely.

CU Student: Phew, glad we can see eye to eye. Now that you get my vibe, tell me: what will it take for me to pass my class?

Magic 8 Ball: Better not tell you now.

CU Student: Seriously?!? Whatever… Got any music recommendations? 

Magic 8 Ball: My reply is no.

CU Student: Arghh!!! Am I going insane?

Magic 8 Ball: As I see it, yes.

CU Student: I fucking knew it. What even is the universe?

Magic 8 Ball: Concentrate and ask again.

CU Student: Uh, sure, why the hell not. What even is the universe?

Magic 8 Ball: As I see it, yes.

CU Student: Damn it, you stubborn asshole. Fine, I’ll reask my first question: I’m horny in quarantine. Got any advice, Magic 8 Ball?

Magic 8 Ball: Yes, definitely.

CU Student: Finally! What is it?!?

Magic 8 Ball: Without a doubt.

CU Student: Without a doubt what? 

Magic 8 Ball: Signs point to yes.

CU Student: What signs?

Magic 8 Ball: My reply is no.

CU Student: I can’t do this anymore. You’re so unhelpful! I’m glad this is only an online thing and not in real life.

Magic 8 Ball: Very doubtful.

CU Student: Yeah, you’re right. I miss in person interaction.

Magic 8 Ball – Do I get my Christmas Wish via Wikimedia Commons