It is I, produce royalty.

I am the Onion King,

The everpresent monarch of produce.

Here I am,

Riding on my black, plastic carriage,

Into my very own kingdom:

Hewitt Dining Hall.


All of the students love me,

They would want to know what is beneath my layers,

But they cannot know,

I ride past them,

Those peasants in that unexplainably long line.


I make my presence known

In every single dish

In my kingdom:

Hewitt Dining Hall.


I’m in your stirfry,

Your pasta sauce,

Your pizza,

Even your cereal.


With most of the students off-campus,

I am here to let you know

I am standing my ground.

I am still the leader of all the vegetables.

I am the Onion King.

Onion King Spotted Entering Hewitt via Bwog Staff