In this vErY sCiEnTifIc StUdY, a Bwog Staffer analyzes your camera angle to determine whether you know or care what is going on in class right now.
- Face Very Close to the Camera: You are paying more attention to this class than any of your peers. If this is a seminar, you’re probably participating a lot, and if it’s a lecture, you’re also probably participating a lot because your presence must be felt by all. Everyone will leave the class remembering your annoying rants more than the course material.
- Face Kind of Far From the Camera but Clearly Visible, Hands Also Visible: You have nothing to hide. You’re doing your best to follow along in the book, participate an appropriate amount, and take decent notes. Since both of your hands are visible, it’s clear you’re actually paying attention and not on your phone.
- Very Far From the Camera: Is that even you, or is that a cardboard cutout of your face taped to a chair? You try to give the appearance of putting in effort, but are struggling to pay attention. It’s hard for you to motivate yourself to show up to class, but you feel guilty because you’re paying for an education and not just a paper certificate.
- Profile: Why are we seeing your face from the side? If you turned around or moved your device two inches you wouldn’t have to be sideways. Thing is, you’re not focused on class at all. Your body language projects no interest in class but an intense longing to be an instagram model. Gotta show off your good side for your Zoom crush.
- Only Forehead, Eyebrows, and Eyeballs Showing: You lowkey are paying attention. You’re taking notes but also checking your phone in the dull moments. You vaguely wish your professor could tell you gave a crap about their class but are too self conscious to show your face. You compromise by showing your presence through the occasional tasteful and inquisitive eyebrow raise.
- Sitting Cross Legged on the Floor With Great Posture: You’re calm and collected and your class presence has not changed at all since leaving campus. You’re the type of person who strolls in two minutes late for in person classes, but it’s chill because you never seem to miss anything and somehow always succeed. You’re probably going for a lot of runs, doing a lot of yoga, or smoking a lot of weed these days.
- Lying in Bed: You somehow managed to wake up on time for class but could only motivate yourself to log on to the Zoom by allowing yourself to do it from the comfort of your bed. You’re exhausted, so you probably won’t be able to follow much of your class and instead will zone out or fall asleep. But hey, at least you showed up.
- Camera Off: You are not paying attention because you are definitely not there. While your professor has it on record that your name is logged into class, you’re actually either: in the bathroom, taking your homemade bread out of the oven, asleep, playing animal crossing, taking a walk, fly fishing, at Mel’s (I don’t know how or why), or on Mars.
Image via Bwog Archives