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Thoughts You Have During Your Virtual PE Class

New staffer Rania narrates her weekly PE thoughts.

On September 7th at 2:01 PM (PDT), I received an email so paralyzing I, well, froze. After the few seconds it took me to thaw out, I sent the contents of the email to all my friends. More specifically, I sent the nine words that transported me into my initial state of shock:

“your video must be ON for PE virtual courses”

Is showing your full body for Zoom PE horrible? I’d argue, yes, it is. As proof, I’ll volunteer my inner monologue from my most recent class: 

  • Class has started and there are only three people here. Yeah, this is definitely a different vibe than Econ or CompSci. 
  • Truly feeling like I am in an 80s aerobic championship, but by myself. Also a lot less stylish. 
  • Speaking of which, I hope no one thinks too much about how my shirt is bright green and my leggings are bright red.
  • Wait Christmas is so soon.
  • Actually, not really. 
  • My classmates better not judge the furniture behind me…this is my parent’s house, I swear!
  • I hope these squats work otherwise my Tinder profile is really going to suffer. 
  • My face is so red and I hope no one is looking at me now. At the same time, I know I am not holding this plank for the full 30 seconds just for myself. People should notice my plank, and be impressed by my rock hard abs.
  • This workout though — Barry’s could never.
  • I am so out of breath, Zoom just notified me that I was muted. How embarrassing!
  • If I started blasting Megan thee Stallion, would anyone hear? I know I am muted but…the distrust remains. Would it end up being my face on speaker view?
  • I’ll go look up Zoom horror stories about the mute button while I pretend to get water. 
  • Mmm that was a refreshing waste of a few minutes.
  • Okay, we are just going to blast the music. I don’t care if people notice!
  • Actually, I should probably tilt my camera down a bit so people don’t see me mouthing the words. 
  • If anyone can hear the music, I’ll just say it’s my brother. Or my neighbors. Or pretend I don’t hear it. 
  • Hope no one realizes my water bottle is actually a pumpkin iced chai. It’s a cheat day, ok?
  • If this class was in person, I would try to reach my hands all the way down to my toes. But because I’ve cleverly positioned myself so that no one can see where my legs end, the shins will do.
  • I guess there is merit to this online thing. 
  • Now I’m really hot and about to go to class and everyone is going to notice how sweaty I am and I doubt anyone will attribute it to virtual PE class. 
  • Ugh, even the name sounds lame.

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3 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous One can only wonder—what would Ben alldis think?

    1. Joe Biden says:

      @Joe Biden Come onnnn mannnn

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous So relatable and hilarious. Awesome post

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