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Columbia Buildings As Issues You Face On Zoom

Maybe virtual learning isn’t so different from in-person classes after all!

Connection Issues – Schermerhorn

It’s time for class and all of a sudden everything gets choppy, mixed up, and confusing. Sound familiar? The twists and turns of the world wide web bear a shocking resemblance to the halls of Schermerhorn as you rush to find your class. There’s no predicting what might happen or how to escape so our best advice is to just keep swimming until you eventually get to class or die trying. Good luck on your journey to whatever dimension your Zoom class exists in, maybe you’ll find the Schermerhorn Extension on the way!

Not Being Able to Hear the Sound During Screen Share – Butler

A professor forgetting to share the sound when sharing your screen is a classic rookie mistake.  While this is something we might have forgiven in April or May, halfway through the virtual semester you’re no longer “still getting used to Zoom,” you’re just bad at technology, but don’t fret, all hope is not lost! Like Butler Library these professors may not adapt well to new technology, but they can still be appreciated for what they are. Even today students enjoy a return to simpler times where the chalkboard was king and the smallest computers weighed more than the average toddler. So don’t worry, your blunders are a charming reminder of what used to be.

Professor Accidentally Kicking You Out When Trying to Send the Class to Breakout Rooms – Milstein

With just a simple click, the wrong button can cause the untimely end of another class lecture. Breakout rooms can be confusing and with so much information to be distracted by, it’s easy to move too quickly and make a dastardly mistake. This experience mimics the in-person class experience in the Milstein Center. With so many little study rooms it’s easy to get lost or distracted on your way to and from each cavern of knowledge. The almost magnetic pull of an empty green chair facing out onto Futter Field can completely destroy a student’s original path towards a productive day of work in a private study room, but as much as it may have been helpful to study a bit more, a little break is always nice.

Zoom-bombing – Lerner

After nearly seven months of virtual classes, club meetings, and weekly extended family calls I’m sure we have all become familiar with the ever-present fear of “Zoom-bombers.” While the thought of someone unknown watching and listening in on your private meeting may seem like a new threat brought about by virtual meetings, I would like to offer a rebuttal. The fish-bowl-like nature of the meeting rooms in Lerner has enabled nosy students to eavesdrop on countless staff meetings, guest lectures, and private conversations for years! With thin glass walls and conveniently positioned tables up and down the ramps, Lerner made Zoom-bombing cool before we even knew what Zoom was!

Stuck in the Waiting Room – East Campus

As a Barnard student, I have spent roughly 27 years of my life sitting in the lobby of EC waiting for a friend to come downstairs to sign me in. Finally, I am able to recreate that same feeling of pain, despair, and shame all rolled up into one as I stare at the empty waiting room for my lecture. Abandoned in the liminal space between class and no class I feel utterly confused and abandoned, wondering which God I have upset to deserve such a punishment.

All my homies hate the Schermerhorn Extension via the Bwarchives

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