What if Bwog was in a novel? This week in Field Notes, we explore that proposition.

Bwog was the typical quirky YA protagonist:

  • Biked while listening to Phoebe Bridgers and had a meltdown on the side of the road
  • Tried to help my friend’s little sister with her algebra homework
    • My self-esteem took a major hit
  • Made incredible TikToks
  • Danced
  • Got incredibly drunk
    • Broke a ten-year no-throwing-up streak :(
  • Ate too many cookies and Mac and cheese bites
    • Felt violently ill 
  • Exercised my right to vote
  • Got mad about the United States
    • Still angry
  • Liked Emily in Paris memes even though I haven’t seen Emily in Paris 

Bwog narrowly avoided being in a horror novel:

  • Went on a walk and came across a bloodied antler skull half-buried in the ground, surrounded by wire mesh and a sign that read “DO NOT DISTURB”
    • Did not disturb
    • It was gone the next time I walked by
  • Found a loose jaw bone in the park
  • Panicked when a strange rash broke out all over my forearms…
    • Still there, still panicking

Bwog felt like a part of dark academia (but it’s just stressful academia):

  • Did not think about midterms for one full 24 hour period and allowed myself to have a little fun
  • “Studied” for my midterms 
  • Didn’t write any of my assignments
  • Was hit with all of my studying all at once on Sunday
    • Spent the day chained to my desk
    • Contemplated transferring to CC because fuck SEAS and all it stands for
  • Anxiety-wrote a paper to stop the anxiety!!
    • I think it worked

Bwog acted like a character straight out of 20th century literature:

  • Finished The Great Gatsby on a New England beach and immediately dove into the bracing water
    • Poignant. 
  • Re-entered society (went into town) and realized I had enjoyed not participating in society
  • Moved back home for the rest of the semester, was happy about it
  • Was scolded by my father: “We do NOT drink our tea with the teabag in. Your grandparents and ancestors would be APPALLED.”
  • Drank rosé out of a deteriorating blue Ikea kiddie cup purchased in what was most likely 2006
  • Absolutely ruined a painting that I really liked and now I am sad :(
  • Ate, drank, and was merry

Bwog is maybe in a modern romance:

  • Spilled my guts to strangers and told them all about my failed romantic endeavors
    • Cried a little bit after because the mortifying ordeal of being known is mortifying
  • Got blackout drunk all alone
    • Sent Snapchat videos to all my friends of me pretending to kiss their foreheads
  • Felt hopeful about romance for the first time in a while
  • Discovered too many former classmates from my religious high school on my local lesbian Tinder all at once
  • Had a dream I asked someone out
    • Thought about being single for the rest of the day

Image via Pxhere