Oh, to be a college student in November of 2020… Oh, to be alive… Oh, to partake in Field Notes…

Oh, the desire for place, the longing for purpose:

  • Lost any sense of stability I had left
  • Drove for 19 hours
    • Entered a time loop where only me, I-75, and the steering wheel of my car existed
  • Debated whether or not to drop out and work on a container ship
    • (Decided I’m not doing it… yet)
  • Wandered aimlessly around a Target just to feel something
  • Wanted to go outside but made myself do work instead
    • I guess that’s good. Or maybe it isn’t
  • Played chess on my own 
  • Considered writing about Emily in Paris but, like, for a CC final paper
  • Listened to Megan Thee Stallion’s new album and remembered Who I Am
  • Finished making the ugliest sweater on earth
    • It’s okay because I love her
    • Also this is the second time I tried to assemble it so I simply won’t try again

Oh, the need to rest:

  • Did the bare minimum, felt bad about it
  • Officially burned out
  • Decided being exhausted gives me the personality of battery acid
  • Crunched cabbage at 1 am while shaking from caffeine I did not know I had until it was too late
  • Watched an entire season of Gray’s Anatomy in two days 
  • Tried to make progress on a bunch of papers only to be stymied by having to take an ex*m
  • Blocked people on Instagram
  • Got in an accident at night
    • Was so nervous that all of my photos of the damage are blurry :/
  • Had a brief, joyous moment of solitude in my parents’ home

And oh… oh, the yearning:

  • Yearned HARD
  • Similar to the above, I longed
  • Ached
  • Achieved little to no progress on schoolwork due to yearning
  • Told a boy I like him
    • Regretted that I told him
  • Did Not partake in the Columbia Marriage Pact out of pure primal fear
  • Wistfully remembered the length of summer days

What comes up when you Google “wistful” with the Creative Commons license on via Wikimedia Commons