Senior Staff Writer Zane Bekheet explains all the reasons she hasn’t paid attention to a single zoom lecture.

The only thing more exciting than the thought of post-pandemic life is finding the many ways to never absorb a single piece of information from an online class. Here are ten notable times I’ve completely ignored my education.

1. Because the only thing I’ve looked at the entire class period was my own video to try to figure out how the other classmates perceive me
2. I decided to relive my childhood spent at a computer on miniclip.com playing Free Runner 2 and Stacky Zoo
3. I suddenly remembered how much the writers messed up the series finale of Game of Thrones and had to sit on the floor in pure fury
4. I was scrolling through TikTok and a tarot card reading popped up on my fyp, told me my ex was coming back, and I had to learn how to properly manifest
5. My Zoom class crush didn’t show up and I sat staring at the wall contemplating if love is real
6. A weird smell from the Wallach 6 lounge made it into my room and killed too many brain cells for me to pay attention
7. I spent the entire class period building a $700 cart on shein and ended my perusal by closing out the tab without buying anything
8. I heard Duane Reade sold big squish mallows for $15, turned off my video, and walked to 110th to buy four (4).
9. I found out Olivia Jade started posting YouTube videos again and sat on my phone scrolling through her hate comments and trying to decide if people can really ~change~
10. It was CC class.

online class via bwog archives