How is it possible that tomorrow it’ll be April 1st? Bwog has all the answers and less.

If quarantine has taught us anything, it’s that time is fake. Your calendar may say that tomorrow is April 1st, but you know in your heart of hearts that there is no way four months have passed since we rang in the new year. Well, have no fear, because your favorite CS-Math and Creative Writing double major is here to solve the mystery!

According to a brief, informal pole, Columbia students, on average, feel like about two weeks have passed in reality.

Two weeks is 14 days and 14 days into February is Valentine’s Day.

On Valentine’s Day, I thought about my severe lack of a love life at least ten times.

It takes ten tickles to make an octopus laugh.

Octopi (octopusses?) have eight legs.

So do spiders, and Spencer had to sleep outside on the couch in the 57th episode of iCarly because he saw one in his room and was scared.

5+7 is 12, which is a dozen.

Nine hours is how much people our age should be dozing a night.

And if you divide nine by 14, you get 0.64 hours/day. Multiplying that by 89 days gets you 56.96. So, really only 56.96 days have passed since January 1st, 2021.

Mind blown, mic dropped. Daniel out.

A menacing calendar via Flickr