Senior Staff Writer Zane Bekheet reviews arguably the best dorm on campus.

Location: 45 W 113.5th Street

Nearby Dorms: Every single residential hall on campus. It’s wherever you need it to be. 

Stores and Restaurants: Times Square, specifically Big Macy’s

Cost: A single hair must be deposited every time you walk into the building. 


  • Every room has its own private bathroom
  • Private chefs for every pang of hunger 
  • Dry cleaning available 24/7
  • Full soulcycle gym in basement


  • Penthouse on every floor 
  • 45 story building, could technically fit Columbia’s entire student body
  • 7th floor entirely missing

Bwog Recommendations:

  • The personal servant for every resident is ideal. 
  • The statues of PresBo everywhere is a bit weird, but it’s otherwise a nice place to live.

Resident Opinions:

  • “Honestly, Carman is still better.”
  • “It’s a great place to live in but I can never find it?”
  • “I heard Aristotle and Plato live on the 7th floor.”
  • “The hair thing is a little weird, and by the end of the year I was balding, but my personal chef’s fried calamari made it totally worth it. “


Outside view
Mike, a prized personal chef

All images via Bwog Archives