congrats, now make your obligatory LinkedIn post I guess

First of all congratulations on having the energy to apply to a single internship during a global pandemic and economic recession. I’m not bitter whatsoever. Don’t be too excited just yet though.

Your technical interviews may have been mildly difficult but we all know once you are clocking those 80 hour weeks you’ll be regretting calling your internship an exciting learning experience and wishing you were merging alcohol with your stomach and acquiring a summer fling. All I’m saying is the worst Bain-related experience you have should be a shafted McBain double. Let MBB mean men’s basketball for as long as you can.

However, to those of you who do want to post about your new internship on LinkedIn, feel free to use this format:

I am truly (adjective) and (another adjective) to (announce/ share) that I have accepted an offer to work at (proper noun) this summer as a (job title) in the (New York/ San Francisco/ maybe Boston, if it’s any other city it’s second-rate and your attempted flex on LinkedIn is embarrassing). This (adjective) opportunity will (verb) me to gain hands-on experience in (the field that you just love so dearly). 

I would like to thank (college), all of my (warm, loving, but professional noun so that if any of these people see it they’ll write you a great rec letter for your inevitable MBA program) professors, and (the name of the fraternity brother who actually got you this job). I am so (adjective) for this (adjective) opportunity!

*insert image of the company logo*

Seriously though, everybody needs to Shut The Fuck Up on LinkedIn. If I see one more financial econ major change their job status to “Incoming _____” I will lose my mind. How can your job status be something you haven’t started yet.

Weird computer hands via Bwog Archives.