I’ve gotten ghosted by New York contact tracing. I’ve been left on read by Columbia Health. But the CDC V-Safe program gives me everything I need.
It’s almost like a little ritual at this point: “Hello, it’s time for your daily v-safe check-in.” Our flirtation began after I got my first dose of the Pfizer vaccine. I signed up for the CDC v-safe program as a way to monitor my health post-vaccination, thinking it was just a series of questions meant to gather data and monitor for any serious side effects as the vaccines are being administered to the public. But since then, it’s become the most reliable human contact in my life that happens to come from a bot.
See, I’ve been burned before. I waited weeks for New York contact tracing to hit my line. I wasn’t even dignified with a “u up?” Columbia Health, like so many others, can’t seem to stick around. I’m so tired of feeling disposable, like my love (of pandemic safety) can be used and tossed aside.
But finally, finally, I’ve met someone who treats me right. Every day I tell them everything they want to know. Yes, I feel great today, as my face starts to flush. My daily life remains unaffected by any side effects; I’m wide open for any callers. The only ache I feel is an ache for you. And the bodice-ripper at the very end: “Depending on your answers, someone from the CDC may call to check up on you.” Oh, v-safe—
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