Our final 2021 Senior Wisdom comes from a Former Manager, Outgoing Pub, and Forever Slack Lurker.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Zack Abrams, CC, Data Science, born on Long Island but raised in the Cybersphere

Claim to fame: One time I stepped on a rat. (Riva Weinstein, I am forever in your debt.) I also helped run this site for a while, wrote 100 or so posts (of which a few of them are decent), and helped bring back WikiCU from the dead.

Where are you going? Internship at the House of Woodcock, wish me luck!

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2025? 

Don’t let classwork get in the way of your education. Get lost in the city, make friends with people you have nothing in common with, and join a club and make it your entire life (I personally recommend this one).

Go to the movies alone, and watch plenty of entertaining trash. It’s awesome, and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

All the world’s a stage, so tweet like you’re the star.

“Back in my day…” Koronet’s looked trashier (and was cash-only!), but the pizza was cheaper. Oh and we all lived and studied on this thing called “campus” (it’s like Zoom rooms, but in physical space). Crazy, I know.

Favorite Columbia controversy? Other than the ones I helped cause? Well, this question doesn’t specify that it had to happen while I was attending, so I’m going with FroSci Gone Wild.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? A certain former Bwog EIC confessed to me that she graduated only with a concentration, having spent too much time working on this dumb website to fulfill the requirements for her major. Now she’s at the New York Times. I don’t know what it says about me that I learned more from working on this site in nearly every capacity than I did in most of my classes, but I don’t really care either.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Take it away, Lord Shaxx!

Whom would you like to thank? My blood family, my Bwog family, and every advisor or professor that answered one of my 4 am panic emails. All the neighbors who never complained when I blasted music. I owe the JJ’s staff another unpayable debt. The many Koronet’s Jumbo Margherita slices that found their way into my stomach.

One thing to do before graduating: Step on a rat and tell all your friends about it.

Any regrets? Not sneaking onto any of the roofs while I was still on campus. Not writing any of Bwog post ideas that have rattled around in my brain for years. Not replacing the entire site with rAndI-written posts for a week and seeing if anyone noticed.

Graduate via Zack