Try your luck with these!

With 3,000 tickets to Bacchanal available, and many, many more students attending Barnumbia, it’s no surprise that the AXS system distributing these tickets had problems. With odds not in our favor and technology crashing, Bwog couldn’t help but wonder what out there would be less challenging to obtain. In other words, what is easier than getting Bacchanal tickets?

  • Getting into Columbia
  • Getting off a class waitlist
  • Crossing the Oregon Trail without getting dysentery
  • Rolling a boulder up a hill in Hell for eternity
  • Going to the DMV
  • Knowing all the instrumental tracks in Sufjan Stevens’ discography by heart and in chronological order
  • Memorizing former President William Henry Harrison’s historically long Inaugural Address (a whole 8,445 words!)
  • Not knowing who Kanye West is
  • Avoiding COVID-19 exposure
  • Getting a CPS counselor
  • Selecting a single as a sophomore
  • Finding a seat in the dining hall during peak hours
  • Liking your first-year roommate
  • Having a healthy relationship in college
  • Getting brunch with your favorite professor
  • Naming one Rick Ross song. (Naming two is pretty much the same difficulty level as getting Bacchanal tickets.)

Enjoy Bacchanal, and, if you didn’t get a ticket, there are always these other options.

concert via Bwarchives