Buy from @tendollarposters for high quality posters, with same day pickup and mild heartbreak TODAY!

It all started with a DM advertising great quality posters for $10. Most people would probably give it some time before answering these types of DMs, especially from a new account with no reviews. But not me. I bought my first two posters the very first time Columbia Ten Dollar Posters messaged me. On August 31, I purchased my first posters a couple of days before the Columbia Ten Dollar Posters team moved onto campus.

(Fun fact time! I never shut up. I’m so happy Instagram doesn’t have top friends because then I’d have to live with the fact that nobody knows me like Columbia Ten Dollar Posters.)

We didn’t speak a single word to each other and the seller handed the posters to me in complete silence before walking away. I immediately forgot what he looked like and never learned his name. But at that moment, I knew that Columbia Ten Dollar Posters was the love of my life. “I’m twirling my hair and considering getting married to Columbia Ten Dollar posters (who just sent me a message that was printer emoji heart emoji and a crown). I feel like we’re soulmates. I feel like that’s the love of my life, yknow. I’m a lesbian but I think I can change,” I texted my friends soon afterward.

Now. The thing is, I had gotten two posters from the beautiful, amazing, showstopping Columbia Ten Dollar Posters at this time (I remembered nothing about this man except that he’s blond. He’s not even actually blonde) but my wall is like REAALLLLLY big so I realized I needed one more poster to fill the space. And who better to ask than Columbia Ten Dollar Posters? You may be wondering why I spent $30 for this. But I had a vision, questionable priorities, and a lot of spare time so—bear with me.

I have horrible ADHD which means I can only speak about four topics at any given time and at this point said topics were;

1. Lesbian cat keychains 

2. Light up keyboards

3. Society 

4. Columbia Ten Dollar Posters

As you can tell, I clearly had my priorities straight. Literally straight. I talked about this guy every five minutes. I did not know a single thing about him beyond his poster-selling capabilities. (Again, I’m a lesbian.)

The second time I went to pick up the posters, my roommate decided to come along to meet this monumental figure in my life. (I lack the ability to be normal about anything.) The famous Columbia Ten Dollar Posters spoke two sentences. (I don’t remember either of the sentences.) It was a life-changing experience. However, my roommate happens to be the most evil, fucked-up, jealous person I know. She asked THE Columbia Ten Dollar Poster For a discount and later confessed that she was also madly in love with him. He may have offered her a $9 dollar poster. I may have considered requesting a room switch and writing a diss track about her on Soundcloud. 

We’re like Romeo and Juliet, if Romeo ran a ten dollar posters account and Juliet was a lesbian. Do you understand how hard it is when you’re a lesbian and the love of your life is a man? We’re like star-crossed lovers and also soulmates and also getting married one day. Nobody understands me. Society is so fucked up and evil.

Clearly this was the wrong thing to say because the big thing with Romeo and Juliet is that it’s a tragedy. My roommate messaged Columbia Ten Dollar Posters asking for his main and he answered with. “Buy a poster first”. So, she BEGGED me (asked me once) if I could ask him the same question since I’d already purchased three posters. Warning, this may be the most tragic heartbreaking soul wrenching painful horrible thing you’ve ever seen. For legal purposes this is totally photoshopped and fake.

I never heard from Columbia Ten Dollar Posters again. Now instead of @columbiatendollarposters, it’s just @tendollarposters. It’s like I barely even know him anymore. I now know what the Joker felt like when he was rejected by society because nobody understands me or what I go through.

(Columbia) Ten Dollar Posters if you see this I’m sorry and also you’re welcome for the promo and also please message me back. I can change. Please.

Instagram DMs via Bwog Staff

Modern day Romeo and Juliet via Bwog Archives