Don’t shit yourself. Here’s how to get through the early morning knock.
Whether it’s too early in the morning or you’re just pee-shy, responding to the wonderful people who help clean our dorm bathrooms can be a stressful process. Worry no more—Bwog can help you respond in the least awkward ways possible. Here are some ideas for when you hear that knock:
Informative Salutations: These responses can also work as polite greetings. This way, you can make a good impression on he who knocks.
- Heyo bathroom alert, bathroom alert.
- Mamma mia!
- I’m neurodivergent.
Straightforward: These are responses that get straight to the point. They help save everyone’s time and energy.
- I’m gonna need more time, Boss.
- You don’t understand, I lost my lactaid.
- Something bad is happening, and you’re not gonna like it.
- I am committing an act of terror.
Interrogative: When in doubt, respond with a question. Get over yourself, lean into the discomfort, and start a conversation.
- Can I phone a friend?
- Which halal cart do you go to because I’m gonna need to find a new one.
Philosophical: These responses are so elevated and nuanced, they might be studied in CC.
- Baby made uh-oh.
- The British are coming, the British are coming.
- We ran out of toilet paper, and I’ve been sitting here for three days.
- My legs are asleep and I can’t get up.
Misdirection: There is only one response smart enough to ward off any further engagement.
- There’s a Spec meeting in here.
Example bathroom via Bwarchives