Don’t shit yourself. Here’s how to get through the early morning knock. 

Whether it’s too early in the morning or you’re just pee-shy, responding to the wonderful people who help clean our dorm bathrooms can be a stressful process. Worry no more—Bwog can help you respond in the least awkward ways possible. Here are some ideas for when you hear that knock:

Informative Salutations: These responses can also work as polite greetings. This way, you can make a good impression on he who knocks.

  1. Heyo bathroom alert, bathroom alert.
  2. Mamma mia!
  3. I’m neurodivergent.

Straightforward: These are responses that get straight to the point. They help save everyone’s time and energy.

  1. I’m gonna need more time, Boss.
  2. You don’t understand, I lost my lactaid.
  3. Something bad is happening, and you’re not gonna like it.
  4. I am committing an act of terror.

Interrogative: When in doubt, respond with a question. Get over yourself, lean into the discomfort, and start a conversation. 

  1. Can I phone a friend?
  2. Which halal cart do you go to because I’m gonna need to find a new one.

Philosophical: These responses are so elevated and nuanced, they might be studied in CC. 

  1. Baby made uh-oh.
  2. The British are coming, the British are coming.
  3. We ran out of toilet paper, and I’ve been sitting here for three days.
  4. My legs are asleep and I can’t get up.

Misdirection: There is only one response smart enough to ward off any further engagement. 

  1. There’s a Spec meeting in here.

Example bathroom via Bwarchives