Time has no meaning, especially after a dissociative fall break. Here’s a list of things that may calibrate your life a little bit.

Fall break at school is supposed to be a relaxing few days off of school, but instead I found myself spending the weekend unable to distinguish what dimension we all operate in.

Chock full of travel plans and people to see, on paper, my weekend was a nice break from the absolute chaos of school. HOWEVER. It became a confusing few days, because time sucks.

I found myself sitting in a window seat, headed home, at night. And let me just say, the joys of flying at night became the only consistent venture of the entire weekend. I was seated next to two men in business suits and sneakers, and questioned space and time. They were unironically talking about various crypto currencies whilst badgering the flight attendant for a “better” glass of red wine, and this is when I knew that the weekend would be a time capsule of confusion and strange men who dare operate in the same realm as me.

What’s interesting is that nobody knows what they’re doing, so theoretically, we should be able to find comfort in the absurd. But people suck too, and are always fabricating themselves so as to appear one with time. Soo what are the rest of us to do!!??!

Here’s a list of things you can do that feel like they calibrate our timeline a tiny tiny bit…

1. Read anything by Ling Ma. Specifically, her collection of short stories Bliss Montage, is actually sooo ridiculous that it makes me feel better about my life.
2. Locate the nearest body of water and stare at it. Assume that the nature of the water reflects your mindset, because time sucks but water is cool.
3. Honorable Mention: Refuse to submit to Daylight Savings Time. It always catches me by surprise and never works.
4. Smoke.
5. Find a boat and go on it. I’ve unintentionally created a water theme here, but I believe that being on any form of water is wildly calming. This can even be as simple as going to the Central Park boat pond, or googling sailboat photos.
6. Play roulette with various albums in your camera roll. This is good because it’ll transport you to a time in which you actually understood the universe and your place in it.
7. Resent Elon Musk. This can be applied to many problems, but I find that it is particularly helpful when things get a little existential.
8. Do research on the moon. Any kind of eclipse or relative space phenomena provides me with time-relavent solace because I can be thankful that something so giant is so weird. (We <3 the moon though.)

Now even after doing each item on this list, it is very possible that you will feel untethered from everything ever. Unfortunately, it’s only with time that you’ll notice that things will get better. Ah yes. Experiencing the thing you hate most in order to solve that very concept: time irony. And this is why time sucks and we should all move on as a society.

I would like to extend a sincere thank you to: Daylight Savings Time, Fall Break, and my 7:30 pm flight for shaking up our collective existence.

Much love,

Myself, fellow uncomfortable Bwog members, and hopefully you <3

Image via Bwog Archives