We have to welcome her to the community!!!

  1. Columbia Women’s Basketball Game

I was delighted to learn that our new president is a Columbia Women’s Basketball megafan. I always end up going to the games and sitting alone (because my friends SUCK), so I would really really enjoy catching a game with President-Designate Minouche Shafik (PrezNouche?). There’s a game next Saturday against Darty… hopefully I’ll see her there.

  1. A screening of M3GAN (2023)

This movie changed my life, and I want more than anything to share that experience with President-Designate Minouche Shafik. At once an incredibly thoughtful exploration of the exigencies posed by the development of artificial intelligence and the funniest film ever created, M3GAN is a must-see. I want to laugh and cry alongside PrezNouche as we take in this marvel of 21st century cinema together. Afterwards, I hope we have a serious conversation about its future inclusion in the Core Curriculum. 

  1. In the fun drink aisle of Westside Market

PrezNouche seems like someone I want by my side to help make life’s toughest decisions. Should I go to grad school? What should I major in? Should I purchase this Mystic Mango Kombucha? In a world of endless decisions and tough calls, I need someone with the cool, rational head of PrezNouche in my corner to steer me in the right direction.

  1. Taqueria y Fonda on Amsterdam

Taqueria y Fonda is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the best restaurant near Columbia University. I would feel like a huge asshole to not recommend it to everyone I know, including Columbia’s new top dog, President-Designate Minouche Shafik. It’s my only hope that, after a long day of classes (and for her, a long day of spooky meetings in Low Library), the two of us could bond over the killer burritos served up at Taqueria y Fonda.

  1. The weird 14th Street underground pedestrian walkway that you have to take to transfer to the L Train

Columbia University has the distinct privilege of being located right in the heart of New York City. Likewise, I would love to have the chance to show PrezNouche the unmissable sites that will have her sprinting to purchase an I❤️NYC tee. There are really endless places that make New York the iconic city that it is, but nowhere SCREAMS NYC like that weird 14th Street underground pedestrian walkway that you have to take to transfer to the L Train. New York’s premier liminal space has to be on the top of PrezNouche’s bucket list, and I would count it among the greatest honors of my life to introduce her to the geographic location that instills in me the greatest existential dread.

President-Designate Shafik via Wikimedia Commons

The Tunnel via Wikimedia Commons