********* is horny for this one.

Didn’t get any senior scramble matches? zes2111 is a waaaaarm plate of scrambled eggs

This crotchety old man we found eating in John Jay shares his wisdom and won’t tell us how he got in here!

Betsy Ladyzhets has read more about yeast in the past week than she ever wanted to in her entire life.

I wish this damn moth would go away. From the second I popped on, to the tune of some a cappella group singing some song no one can hear anyway, it’s just been hovering around me and my friends. It just won’t leave us alone! No matter where we go (which, admittedly, is nowhere) this […]

Bwog Breaded Good Amara shares a Butler diary entry at this fine hour of 3:21am.  Nothing reminds me of November like a failed course registration, JJ’s sugar-only hot chocolate, and running around this library at 3am with no shoes on. Oh yeah, and thumbtacks in Ferris potatoes. ~~~Ahh, fall~~~~ In the late (barefooted) nights I’ve spent […]

I have sat in the green chairs that are on the second floor of the Milstein Center and which you were probably saving for someone who actually attends Barnard Forgive me they were magnificent so plush and so cozy (also i ate ur plums too lmao) William Columbia Williams by Unknown

It starts quietly, as most wars do. Two first-years, walking back from their FroSci lecture meet up with one of their Barnard friends by the 116th gates. “Where do you guys want to grab lunch?” she asks. This is some time before midterms of first-year fall, when friends still exist and groups of people still have […]

Staff writer Sarah Braner unveils the reason behind the ungodly sluggishness of the Barnard Hall elevators.  Many of us have had a class in Barnard Hall. However, if you have had a class on the third floor or above, you are probably aware of the elevator situation: They’re slow. Really slow. Well, there’s a reason the […]

Last night, our Managing Editor was wandering through the basement of her new dorm when she noticed something unusual. Woodbridge Basement, 10:41 pm This basement is definitely haunted. I’ve only been down here twice, first to start my load of laundry and then to move it to the dryer, but that’s enough for me to be sure. […]

No, it wasn’t just you. Yes, last semester was really bad. You’ve been trying to get a fresh start this time around, but with the specters of past failures, drunken encounters, and mishandled emails hanging over you, how is anyone to move forward? Below, our guide to banishing bad vibes—with literally no one knowledgeable’s approval […]

Ever since the daylight savings time change, the sun has decided to set its sorry ass at 4pm every damn day. By the time I get out of my CC seminar it’s already starting to get dark. What gives, sun? You used to be a source of such light and warmth. Now all you do is […]

People care about public spaces, and maybe nowhere as much as in New York. Columbia’s most prominent public space, and definitely its most photographed, is the Low Steps. Where other universities might have wide open spaces and vast lawns, Columbia students perch, like the characters of Gossip Girl on the steps of the Met, on a cold stone […]

If you have a Twitter account, you’ve probably seen your fair share of funny bot accounts. One of them keeps track of how far through the year we are (80% through 2017, as of today!) while another tweets every color. We here at Bwog were tired of automation not yet taking our jobs, and so we… uh… repurposed […]

Most bagels, when they turn twenty years old, grow stale and moldy, but not this one. Our own bagel is twenty years old and beautiful and thriving. She is a beautiful bagel and a perfect bagel in chief. Here is photographic evidence of her thriving. I found every single picture on my phone and computer […]