After a month of mayhem, it all comes down to this.
We’ve finally made it! A month of bwadness has come and gone, and the first annual Bwarch Bwadness has reached its final round. That’s right, it’s Bwampionship week. Who made it to the final round?
The Bwampionship Bwatchup:
5. The Columbia US News Saga vs 10. SSOL
Last week’s highly anticipated matchup ended poorly for the fan-favorite underdog JJ’s Milkshake Machine Hole. Saga punched its ticket to the final, defeating Hole 48–25. Fans of the Hole might be sorely disappointed by this outcome, but at least they can have consolation that the Milkshake Machine is back!
The Columbia US News Saga has been a trouble maker all year, dominating the discourse on campus, the focus of many a student conversation and the butt of countless jokes. This tournament is no different. It seems like Columbia’s ranking in the US News report will follow us forever, and being crowned the 2023 Bwarch Bwadness Bwampion would be a fitting commemoration of this wild academic year.
But just as elitists lost their precious second-best university ranking, so too did the entire student body face another tragic loss. That’s right, I’m talking about the death of SSOL. We all hated it; I know. But this was a case of the other side and grass being greener or however the expression goes. SSOL, I miss you with your outdated user interface. I miss our fights. I miss the tears you’ve caused me. SSOL, come back… Barnumbia isn’t home without you.
In any case, SSOL took down Big Sub 44–31 last week to advance to this matchup against Saga. This will really be a battle of nostalgia. What do you miss more? A made-up ranking in a pretentious list or the worst website ever designed?
Here’s the Bwacket:
Voting via the form below will be open until April 3 at 11:59 pm. You can also vote via our Instagram stories later in the week.
Header via Bwog Archives