Flip phones are dying out…. but they may just be the hero we need to save us from the built-up stress and dependence on technology we face during midterm season.
Midterm season has led me to a variety of conclusions, such as (a) dead silent libraries are evil and definitely one of the Seven Circles of Hell, (b) those readings that professors assign should probably be read more thoroughly in a consistent manner rather than all at once, (c) no amount of dining dollar coffee will save you from the fact that you have slept four hours a day for the past week. Clearly, midterms are not my favorite part of the semester. Being in New York City and studying during the entire weekend is evil. Something that is certainly NOT helping is my phone, which has a variety of ways to distract me from my work so that I can think about getting something done for three hours but actually try to get it done in at most, 20 minutes from those three hours. In fact, writing this article is serving as a great distraction right now. I hate studying and my phone only makes this worse. Not just that, your phone consumes you. Phones used to have such straightforward purposes—call, text, and voicemail. Now, I can listen to music while scrolling through twitter while completing a task I need to complete. THIS IS NOT NORMAL! I believe it is time to get rid of modern iPhones. They are a nuisance, a distraction, and infect my mind. I’ve compiled a (very rational) list of reasons to switch to a flip phone TODAY as well as some possible flip phone options I have encountered on my journey to avoid doing work by doing more work. Flip phones may just change your life.
Possible reasons to switch to a flip phone
- Twitter has impacted your ability to interact with other people.
- Having access to google makes you believe you are close to death anytime you have any symptom of illness and you think you would be happier believing in the four humors and maybe forgetting how to read.
- Deleting Pinterest may decrease your love for sweaters and take away the irrational urge to steal your professors sweaters and dress like them every day of your life.
- If you do not learn to make it through Ferris without checking your phone you will not survive in the real world.
- It could erase the possibility of you finding out one of your Twitter mutuals is actually a student here and having to crawl into a hole and die.
- Phone charms do not work in your smartphone and you want to open a little flip phone with a dangly charm and angrily snap it closed when you’re angry like you are part of an old coming of age movie.
- You are too loud to come off as closed off and mysterious and turning to a flip phone may finally lead to your mysterious “who is she” era.
- You think wearing modern headphones everywhere and owning a flip phone is the funniest combination ever. Alternatively, getting those cute old looking headphones with a flip phone may look very cute.
- Losing your phone will not feel like you have lost your firstborn child.
- Your phone will actually fit in my going out purse.
If any of these reasons have convinced you, or even just helped you tolerate the idea of switching to a flip phone, you may want to think about what type of flip phone is the one for you. Unfortunately, flip phones are a dying art form, so there are not as many options as there used to be for a good, reliable, flip phone, and many of the reliable models in the past are no longer being produced or sold. However, there are SOME (semi-reliable?) options to consider if you want your own flip phone today. Let’s review!
- You could pick up your very own Tracfone at Target for the price of $19 today! HOWEVER! A small warning! It may (definitely) contains lead. Personally this is a win for me because I have been in my modern day yellow wallpaper rest-cure era (clinically depressed and going off the chemicals in the Hewitt coffee machine to perform basic tasks) so I can live with a little lead poisoning. It cannot be worse than diet coke. I have yet to see a scientific paper comparing the effects of small doses of lead to diet coke on your organs but I can just sense their vibes and lead seems less harmful. The silly little guy of the periodic table. In fact, I argue we may all need a little lead poisoning. Times are tough. (These are the personal views of the author and are not based on any reason or fact. Please do not consume or ingest lead. Or Diet Coke… I will be honest.) Anyways, considering data is $15 a month at lowest, you will probably regret not buying a better model the longer you keep it since what you’re paying each month for data will quickly surpass what you paid for the phone originally. However, this review in particular is incredibly hilarious (and maybe concerning).
- Hello Kitty flip phones speak to me in ways the iPhone has not. I have been scouring the internet for them, and falling in love with every single model. However, I have encountered several issues considering 1) I have no idea how the data plan would work 2) many of them are not in english 3) it may be harder to rationalize a purchase if it comes with a chance the phone will just not work. However, Hello Kitty flip phones are a MUST. I say ignore rational thought and invest in the Hello Kitty flip phone. Being untraceable and with a cute little flip phone is killing two birds with one stone.
- There are some beautiful modern models, like the Samsung Galaxy Folder 2, but it’s not worth investing in unless you plan on permanently switching because it is very expensive which is scary and also not a great solution for me since my phone broke down last semester so mine is going to be working for at least the next two years. You may also want to check how much the data plan is and whether you are able to use your current SIM card on it.
- The AT&T $30 flip phones seem like a good bet, but you would be paying a minimum of $30 for data a month, and that’s just for 5GB. However, the reviews are pretty good, so if you’re considering genuinely switching for an extended period of time it seems to be the most reliable option. Plus you could go get it at Target.
In conclusion, if you’re not expecting your flip phone to be used very seriously, very often, and do not expect you will be completely trading away your current phone, the Tracphone or the Hello Kitty flip phone may be the option for you.
The middle ground is ideal for a situation where you would either stop using your current phone completely or for a certain amount of time. For example, attempting to switch for two months because you want to focus more on an event or activity you have—or perhaps create better phone habits long term by having an extensive break from your modern iPhone, you may want the AT&T flip phone. It is pretty accessible since it is available at target, and it is expensive enough (including data) that you probably shouldn’t be getting it unless you are dedicated to only using it for a long period of time and definitely not paying for the data on your modern phone since you will be leaving it in a shelf for a couple of months.
Lastly, if you are fully dedicated to the dream of having a flip phone and have decided you will no longer need your smartphone since you will be using the flip phone instead long term, buying a modern flip phone like the Samsung Galaxy Folder 2 may be the right choice for you. However, modern flip phones are dying out so you may want to think about whether or not this is something you want to seriously commit to.
Maybe the right solution is switching to walkie talkies and only communicating with two people a day. Or denouncing technology and going on long, philosophical walks instead. I don’t think my long-distance friends and family would appreciate it if I suddenly switched to only communicating via letter but in my defense, it’s getting pretty rough out here. However, living without music would completely destroy what little sanity I have left so perhaps I should give up on communicating with others and instead purchase a walkman and pretend I’m much older than I actually am? Perhaps the solution is encouraging companies to bring back more models of modern flip phones. Whether or not you decide the flip phone life, or the idea of the flip phone life, is right for you, we can all probably agree that modern technology is a curse. I think I deserve to struggle with clunky buttons and angrily snap my flip phone open and closed after what midterm season has put me through. Maybe that is just the Hewitt coffee machine talking, although maybe small exposures to lead from Target flip phones can alter my already skewed brain chemistry and help me get better, like multiplying two negatives and getting a positive. Hopefully we will find out soon.
Me after getting my flip phone via Bwog Archives
Screenshot via Author
@Anonymous Better yet, search for this on aliexpress: ortable “Mini Corded Landline Phone, With Headset, Button Dial, Fast Redial, Small Telephone for Office Conference”