Your favorite JTS-Adjacent Barnard students, Social Media Editor Talia Bloom and Staff Writer Lily Pazner, cosplayed as JTS students for the day. Read all about it!

We JTS-Adjacent (noun: those of us who have JTS roommates and spend quite a bit of time up at the seminary) folk have experienced about 11 too many “Wait, you don’t go to JTS?” comments. So, we decided to take matters into our own hands. The simplest solution? We turn into JTS students for the day—test it out for ourselves beyond our JTS Shabbat dinners. Maybe the double degree program is worth transferring into!

So, on the lovely, warm afternoon of Wednesday, April 12, we made the jaunt up to 122nd, prepared for a full 24 hours worth of festivities.

4 pm: JTS tour guide Rivkah gives us a tour of ~the seminary~, as it is so lovingly described by many. We learn:

  1. The JTS fire alarms are silly things. One night, they went off four times in total.
  2. There is only one elevator in the dorms on Shabbat/Chag mode. We rode it.
  3. The undergrad dorm floors are each themed by a season! Very adorable.

6 pm: A lovely Pesach dinner, catered by the one and only Leah. Matzo pizza is fabulous.

7 pm: Had a classic JTS song session complete with banging on tables and dancing.

8:30 pm: Got really slap happy and ran laps around the massive kitchens (we’ll be remembering this for the next time we want to avoid going to Dodge).

9 pm: Movie night! The Prince of Egypt, obviously.

12 am: We ventured to the abandoned 7th floor of the dorms and told ghost stories after a few hours of homework (JTS students take so many credits. Like, so many credits.)

1 am: We went to the conference room where UTMOST important decisions for the Jewish Conservative movement were made. The decision we could eat rice all week? Made right there. Then we pretended we were important people making important decisions. In fact, we officially declared that Bwog is the best campus publication.

3 am: We tried to sleep but were too high on adrenaline from being at JTS. Naturally, we decided to do some impromptu haircuts! We left our mark on JTS via Talia’s hair on the floor. Compliment her on her haircut please.

4 am: Game time! We raided JTS’ famous game collection to occupy ourselves and fell asleep on the floor in the middle of an intense card game.

9 am: Rise and shine! We woke up ready to continue our wonderful life-changing JTS adventure. First up? We needed to be trained as official JTS tour guides.

11 am: After a full tour, our brains were full of JTS knowledge. We did so well that we were hired on the spot. We stopped to lounge and nap on a windowsill with a wonderful view. Basking in the sun, we didn’t want to leave!

12 pm: We worked up an appetite so naturally we raided the kitchens to make more matzo concoctions. Who knew matzo could be so versatile? Certainly not us!

2 pm: We went to the Beit Midrash which Sarah described as “a lab but with Jewish texts” for the full JTS experience. The topic of discussion: if and how we could transfer to JTS. All our friends weighed in.

4 pm: Preparing for departure, we gave tearful goodbyes to our friends. As a parting gift, we were officially named JTS students. They even gave us a dorm room! 

Hair three inches shorter, brains three ounces wiser, and hearts three times fuller, we made the wistful trek back to the ‘Nard. 

JTS Merriment via Bwog Staff