I am searching…

Name: Eli’s Earring.

Preference (girl for girl, etc.): Jewelry for Ear lobe.

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: I got dislodged from his ear.

What redeems you as a human being? I am an earring.

Library room of choice? Probably the one where I might be resting on its floor.

Beverage of choice? Saline solution.

Which dating apps have you been active on? (be honest): None; I am an earring.

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Isn’t that kind of the big question here? Find me!

Historical Hottie of choice? The Girl with a Pearl Earring.

Anything else? Seriously. Please find me. I don’t have another earring and I really liked this one. I am calling for the entirety of the Barnumbia student body to keep their eyes peeled. Look down, crouch on the floor, maybe even put your cheek against the ground so your eyes are level with it. But also, check the bottom of your shoes—maybe it’s embedded in your sole. There’s a poster below with what the earring looks like.

Header Image and Poster of the Earring via Elias Reville