There is absolutely zero justification for a Celsius to cost more than four dollars.

I have a complaint about this institution. Several, actually, but I’ll limit myself to the one that is the least “controversial” for the sake of this publication.

Recently, I tried to purchase a Celsius energy drink from a vending machine in the International Affairs Building. It was ten in the morning and I was exhausted to the core of my soul; I had had an unfathomably long week that only a peach mango green tea Celsius could remedy. Before leaving IAB after my first class of that day, I stopped by the little hallway with all the vending machines to grab myself some much-needed caffeine. I expected higher prices, as one does when vending machines are involved, but I figured a Celsius wouldn’t set me back more than four dollars, at worst. Either way, I was tired enough to be willing to spend an eyebrow-raising amount of money on an energy drink. 

And so, I typed in the number for the Celsius into the machine. Lo and behold, the total for the transaction popped up on the screen: $5.50. Staggering backwards in shock, I rubbed my eyes and looked at the little screen again. It did indeed say, clear as day, “Total: $5.50. Insert cash or tap card”. I would be doing neither of those things. Appalled, I stormed away from the frankly offensive vending machine to look for another source of caffeine.

Thankfully, I found a machine in Uris that offered the drink for $4.50. Still very high, but not as bad as $5.50. I gave in and bought it, still enraged over the machine in IAB. I genuinely could not believe it. In what world is a Celsius worth that price? Why aren’t the prices of drinks all the same across all vending machines on campus? Is my sleep deprivation a joke to them? What the hell is going on here? With tuition this high, vending machines should be giving things out for free. And considering literally everything else going on, we at least deserve reasonably priced drinks.

IAB via Columbia