Learn who to avoid!

  1. Loud and Clueless

This person loves to talk just to talk. They were definitely praised a little too much as a child, leading them to have such an oversized ego that they feel the need to participate even when they haven’t done the reading. They’re always wearing merch as if to brag, even when everyone in the room is also clearly a Columbia student.

  1. The Quiet One

Unfortunately, this is me. The TA doesn’t know their name two months into a class of less than 10 people, and even though they probably have done the reading, they are too anxious to speak up. They have a constantly tapping foot, a staring problem, and are running on excess caffeine.

  1. The Devil’s Advocate

This is the enemy of the people. No matter how innocuous your comment is, this person is ready to raise their arm in the most pretentious way possible (if you know what I’m talking about). Who knows what motivates them, because it definitely cannot be popularity. You can find the devil’s advocate talking down to anyone they perceive as beneath them at an unbearable volume, probably wearing preppy clothes.

  1. The Suck Up

This person has an unrelenting agenda to win the love of the TA. Nothing will stop them from asking strangely personal questions that cause you to internally cringe. They seem to really believe that if they act interested enough in a 34-year-old’s dog, their grade will improve. It’s almost admirable, but also looks exhausting.

  1. The Athlete

This person makes me wonder just how many student-athletes one campus can have. How is it possible that there is a football player in every class? The athlete will never be seen out of their team’s merch (fair). All I can say is that I’m jealous of their lifestyle.

  1. The Activist

This person will turn every conversation into a “Can we just talk about the political and economic state of the world right now?” moment. Like sure, but this is a Calculus recitation. I appreciate the activists because they are the reason that I don’t have to talk. Their ability to completely derail any given discussion has to be respected, and they are making points.

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