The Columbia University Marching Band is stepping away from their traditionally controversial and caustic content, and moving towards sheer seduction.

Do you want to express your love for your peers in a seductive tone that neither your awkward agitated attitude nor CU Admirers can properly express? In a new series they started yesterday, CUMB’s James Bennett II reads your CU Admirers posts in the sensual tone you want to say them, with all the courage and sex appeal you don’t have. It even features an homage to our managing editor—check it out: