No eye contact, no problem.

In keeping with our finals tradition of reviewing possibly superfluous things like chairs,  cafes, and lecture halls, we bring to you some #Finals2013 library room reviews. Because, let’s face it, you want to know as much as possible about the places in which you’ll be spending the next nine days straight.

What better way to study in a public space than to be in complete isolation from the public that fills it! This paradoxical paradise is none other than Milstein 303, my friends. Those three cubby desks in 209? Well, this is an entire room full of them. Twenty-four little box worlds. Instead of making eye contact with the person sitting across from you when you both coincidentally look up from your work, your eyes instead fall on the three planks of wood in front of you. The cubby-cubicle successfully quarantines you from the outside world. This is conducive to getting work done, because of the minimal distractions (e.g. you can’t see the girl across from you repeatedly twirling her hair). This is also conducive to reading Bwog because nobody can see your computer screen/that you’re not doing work. On a typical day, by 1 pm the cubbies are all occupied or have been staked out with textbooks and scattered loose leaf. Later at night, forget about it—this is the reading room where people go when every other room closes, because it’s open 24/7. Except it does close from 6:30-7:30 am when maintenance cleans with those hovercraft looking machines that you are secretly scared will flatten you in its tracks but also seem like they would be kind of fun to ride.

The reading room is a “yellow” zone, which means only drinks in “spill-proof beverage containers” are allowed, which actually means you can eat your unlimitedly topped Milano salad with great revelry but also slight paranoia because are there authorities who enforce the zones I don’t know maybe but also can everyone hear me chewing?!?!? If you aren’t lucky enough to secure a cubicle desk, there are still six tables, four seats a pop. If you do sit at a table, make sure you don’t have any electronics that need charging, because most of the outlets either don’t work or have open sockets/exposed wires that probably violate some safety code. The table closest to the entrance is usually where you’ll find open seats, due to the nearby women’s bathroom’s lovely acoustics.  There are comfy albeit probably bed bug laden one-seater couches and wobbly ottoman-type tables in the back, situated in front of a giant window looking out onto campus. And from that giant window you can see all of the babies who don’t have finals playing on Low steps and think to yourself, just you wait. Just you wait.