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If you have a Twitter account, you’ve probably seen your fair share of funny bot accounts. One of them keeps track of how far through the year we are (80% through 2017, as of today!) while another tweets every color. We here at Bwog were tired of automation not yet taking our jobs, and so we… uh… repurposed some code found on the Internet and created a verified automated smash: @notbwog.

Our child, uh, I mean the cold, unfeeling bundle of ones and zeroes that we definitely haven’t developed a personal bond with, posts around once every three hours. And while a good number of them are nonsense (just think of them as Sappho fragments, but hornier) a few of them could actually be Bwog articles. We’re definitely going to write some of these in the future.

Enjoy some selections from the bot’s nearly two weeks of near-sentience. Hopefully when Skynet takes over we’ll be remembered as some of the good humans.

1. Raise your hand if you’re feeling personally attacked. I know I’m not the only one. 

2. This paradoxical clickbait would definitely work on me.

3. Hey bro can you look over my cover letter? It’s just the word ‘cheese’ over and over. 

4. Is it a statement or a question? Either way, we’re here for it.

5. This isn’t an actual tweet. A robot wrote this. 

6. And finally, some insight into Deputy Editor Youngweon’s thoughts.